Beaten with Old Hickory

As we arrived in Nashville, we called the parents of the bride to get directions to their place so we could pick up our youngest daughter.

“Get off at Old Hickory, turn left. When the road dead ends, make a right…”

We got off the freeway at the Old Hickory exit and turned left. After 10 minutes, I called her back. “You did say to turn left, correct?”

“Yes, that’s correct.”

We drove another 25 minutes, but the road never dead ended!

Let me just say that I did not do the planning on this trip. If you will remember, I was figuring out how to get out of New Mexico last week.

I went into a bar and asked the manager how to get to Brentwood.

“You’ve got to go 30-40 minutes back the way you came!”

I then relayed the directions that we were given.

“Old Hickory goes all the way around the city. You’re on the opposite end of town.”

We drove back to the original freeway and resumed heading south. We found another exit named Old Hickory. Then, we saw another one!

Who planned this city?

We finally exited the freeway and within 1/4 mile, a sign said that Old Hickory made a 90 degree turn.

 

It turns out that Old Hickory is this little two lane country road that winds around the city. But, that is too simplistic a description. It seems to me that Old Hickory must have been laid out during the Civil War to confuse the ‘logical’ Yankees and thus slow down their progress.

I say that because when you drive on Old Hickory, you eventually learn that whenever another road joins Old Hickory, the road that continues straight forward is a different street. Old Hickory is the name on the sign that makes the 90 degree turn or the slight veer that you DON’T take so that you can ‘stay’ on Old Hickory and find your friend’s house and pick up your daughter!

And if you do happen to make the right turn to stay on Old Hickory, because your friend’s wife told you to take Old Hickory until it ‘dead ends, you later realize that you should have continued straight on the road with a different name!

Old Hickory reduces you to stopping and looking for street signs at every junction or intersection and doing that at night is a pretty slow process!

How did the South lose?

We drove on Old Hickory as it twisted and turned through some very wooded areas for ANOTHER 30 minutes.

I stopped and knocked on someone’s front door to ask for help. A young girl answered the door and said that she had no idea how to help us. She was just visiting her aunt.

OF COURSE!

My daughter called, “Dad, I’m not trying to pressure you, but…”

I didn’t even try to pretend that I was calm, cool and collected…

“We are lost! I have no idea when we will get there!”

I looked at a road atlas (which IS NOT detailed) and determined that I should keep driving the way I was going. My wife did not hold that same opinion.

At this point, the severe storm that we encountered in St. Louis made its way into the cab of our truck. Both lightning and thunder were heard in our truck. My son weathered the storm pretty well.

Finally, 2 1/2 hours after we were “JUST A FEW MINUTES AWAY”, we pulled up to our friend’s house!

Welcome to Nashville!

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