I finally did it!
Something that I have been wanting to do for over two decades!!!
I hinted at it last weekend…
Some time in the early 90’s (that sounds SO long ago. When I was younger, that phrase meant the 1890’s!), someone told me that they had bought a side of beef.
“What’s a side of beef?”
“Half of a cow.”
“What do you mean you bought ‘half of a cow’?”
“I bought one half of a cow from the butcher.”
“Why did you do that?”
“To save money.”
“How much did it cost?”
They then said some number that could never be interpreted in my mind as “saving money”. In fact, it seemed like spending a bunch of money!
“That’s a lot of money!”
“Not if you consider what you get for that.”
He then detailed how many pounds of top quality ground beef they got…
and how many pounds of roast…
and how many pounds of steak…
and all of the different cuts of steak…
He concluded by saying, “So, I got all of that for (some number that was about the price of extra lean ground beef) per pound.”
I was enthralled with the thought of eating all those pounds of all those different types of steak for such a cheap price! After I put my tongue back in my mouth and wipe the slobber off of my chin, all I could say was “Wow!”
I immediately wanted to do the same.
So, I bought a used upright freezer since we didn’t have room in our garage for a chest freezer.
That particular year, the supermarkets in our area were having amazing specials on Thanksgiving turkeys. We ended up putting five of those suckers in that freezer!
After we had eaten two or three of the turkeys, a guy shot an antelope and a deer and gave us the meat.
After we had pretty much eaten all of the venison (deer meat) and turkey, I went to the butcher to inquire about buying “a side of beef”. Say that out loud. “A side of beef.” It just sounds good!
When he told me the price, I nearly fell over.
Per pound, it was still a great deal, just like my friend had said. However, no matter what kind of a deal you are getting per pound, when you multiply that number by three of four hundred, it starts getting up there pretty quickly. My salary just wasn’t large enough to take that much money and put it in the freezer!
So I waited…
When we sold our home and moved to Kansas City, we gave away the freezer. I was glad to give it to someone but it highlighted that I never did buy that “side of beef”. (Man, those are great words!)
Recently, I have become concerned about the policies that our government is putting in place; specifically, about the likelihood very high inflation. If inflation hits, then everything will get more expensive…even food.
I reasoned, “If I could just figure out a way to lock in my food prices at current levels…
Hmmm…Hey, I could get a freezer…”
I went to inquire at the butchers about meat prices to see if this idea was worth pursuing. I then called my wife and asked, “Honey, how much does beef cost?”
“I don’t know.”
I was thinking, “Your a woman. You cook our food. You work at Costco. How can you not know?”
“What do you mean you don’t know?”
“I don’t buy it.”
“It’s too expensive. Steak is something like $8 a pound”
I thought, “Thank God I married this girl!”
“What about ground beef?”
“I don’t know.”
I have to admit that I didn’t even notice that we hardly ever ate beef. Her cooking tastes so good night after night that I don’t even care!
Even if I had noticed, I knew that it DEFINITELY wasn’t because either my wife or I believe that beef is bad. We like beef. Beef be good! However, I never would have thought that we weren’t buying it because it was too expensive!
I guess it is a good thing that I haven’t noticed…
This new information caused my self esteem to elevate a few notches. My idea was getting better by the minute. I could lock in some of my food prices before inflation hits AND we could start eating steak again AND it would be at the price of extra lean ground beef!
I tell you, if I were any smarter…
Then I remembered that I had wanted to do this OVER 20 years ago! And I remembered that I had to wait…and wait…and wait.
I ain’t waitin’ no mo!
I bought a split side of beef. That is a half of a half. Written numerically, that would be (1/2 x 1/2) which is equal to 1/4.
We gonna be eatin’ steak for $2.50 per pound!
Oh yeah! Beef, its what’s for dinner!