I had finished my work in the Community Services Commission office in Kherkoff Hall very early so I decided to take a nap. I was awakened by the sound of a voice with a distinctly Southern twang in the Meyerhoff Park free speech area three floors below.
I leaned out the window and saw a young, well-dressed preacher shouting…
“It’s possible to live a holy life.”
That got my attention. My parents took me to church regularly when I was a child. I would get spanked nearly every week for misbehaving (crawling under the pews, fidgeting, etc.). I would ask the Sunday school teachers questions that they couldn’t answer. I never really understood the messages but enjoyed going because I got to spend time with my friends.
“It’s impossible the way you are.”
I had proven that. When I entered my teens, I began understanding the messages. Three different times (when I was 11, 13 and 15), I tried to give my heart to God. Each time, after approximately 1 month, I would realize that nothing had changed on the inside. I was still the same person. After the third time, I grew a little fatalistic. I decided that being a Christian wasn’t meant for me.
“You need a heart transplant. God has to give you a new heart. You must be born again.”
When I was sixteen, I prayed and said, “It’s obvious that I am not a Christian. Everything you tell me to do, I don’t want to do. And everything you tell me not to do, that is exactly what I want to do. I know that I am not fooling either you or me. So rather than be a hypocrite and pretending, I am going to go find out what sin is all about. I just hope that you give me one more chance.”
“It’s going to cost you everything. God wants your whole heart. If you are only willing to give Him 80% or 90%, He’s not interested.”
I thought, “If there is a God, that’s how He would be!…This is the truth!”
A moment later, I felt as though I was standing behind the thick canvas curtain on the stage back in my elementary school gym. The curtain whisked open
I then heard the voice of the Lord ask, “Are you ready to follow Me?”
I then thought, “What’s the wildest thing God could ask me to do?”
A moment later, I had my answer…
I said, “Lord, if You tell me to quit school, pack up and move to Kenya, I’ll do it. If I don’t have the money, I will sell everything I have. If I still don’t have the money (I had no idea how much a one way ticket to Kenya cost), I will borrow it and believe You to pay it back. But, You have to change me.”
My boss came in and told me that he would handle the office for the rest of the day, I decided to go down and talk to the preacher.
“I was listening to what you were saying…”
“And what did you think?”
“This is the truth and I am ready to do whatever is necessary.”
I didn’t really understand what he said next, but when he asked me if I wanted to be born again, I told him again, “This is the truth and I am ready to do whatever is necessary.”
I agreed to come to a meeting on campus at 7:00 that night. The founder of the nationwide campus ministry flew in to speak. He finished speaking at about 9:00 and asked if anyone wanted to give their heart to the Lord.
I slowly stood up.
The speaker then asked me why I stood up.
“Well it’s what I told the guy on campus today…This is the truth and I am ready to do whatever is necessary.”
As the meeting closed, I found myself just standing around. So, I turned and started walking up the aisle to head home. I was almost out of the classroom when this 6’4” ham handed, strawberry blonde farmer in a plaid shirt and a big smile tapped me on the shoulder and introduced himself.
I did not want to talk to him! But, I had no cause to be rude either. So I begrudgingly answered his ‘get to know ya’ questions in as few words as possible. He managed to keep me there long enough for the campus preacher to join us.
We sat down to talk
“Do you love Jesus?”
I was truly perplexed. Do I love Jesus?
He tried again…
“Has the Lord done something in your heart?”
I had no idea how to answer that question either.
“What are you feeling inside?”
I could answer that question, so I did…
“This is the truth and I am ready to do whatever is necessary.”
I guess that convinced him that he wasn’t going to get the emotional reaction that he was looking for because he then pulled out a photocopy of the first five chapters of their Bible study book and said, “Do these and let’s meet tomorrow afternoon.”
I said, “O.K.” but I was thinking “It’s 10:30…I won’t even get home until 11:00…and I have classes tomorrow…”
