I’ve decided to wear it

I am in a little predicament.

I had surgery on my gums today.

Anytime that I go to the dentist, it is serious. An hour in the ‘chair’ is not my idea of a fun afternoon.

However, I realized that the dentist also thought it was serious this time. Several times during the surgery, he stopped and asked me if I was all right. All I could say was “Uh, huh” since my mouth was locked in the fully open position. I must not have been very convincing because each time, he asked me if I was sure to which I replied, “Uh, huh.”

As if an hour and forty minutes cutting and grinding and scraping and drilling and needling wasn’t enough, the dentist decided to pull a tooth while he was in there!

Needless to say, I didn’t feel much like smiling when I went to Costco to get the prescription for the pain pills filled. Even if I did, I couldn’t. None of the muscles in my face work.

The pharmacist instructed me to eat something before I take the pain pill. When I informed her that it feels like Jackie Chan just had a sword fight with Jet Li in my mouth, she advised me to drink some milk. That sounded good to me.

When I got home and poured some milk into a glass, I realized that I had a problem: my face, mouth and tongue are all COMPLETELY numb. Guess what happens when you try to drink something in that condition? Right! You end up wearing it!

So, do I ‘spill the milk’ or crawl into the fetal position and howl at the moon when the anesthesia wears off? Either way, I am going to look like a two year old!

I have decided to get in touch with my inner slob.