Dear Bean,
When I awoke this morning and remembered that today was your birthday, scenes from the past floated across the screen of my mind. Although it lasted just a few minutes, what I saw this morning has dramatically changed my perspective on our lives.
Your mother and I learned of your conception on Sunday afternoon, June 1, 1986. I deduced that exact date because I have an entry in my prayer records on June 2nd where the Lord promised, “I will teach you to be a father.” That would not have meant much to me unless I had recently learned that I was going to become one!
While I usually have to take a moment to remember what I did last weekend, I remember the moment that we learned of your existence quite well!
It was around 3:30-4:00 in the afternoon. Mom, being now several weeks past her normal cycle, stepped into the small master bath to take her first pregnancy test. I was laying on our brass bed in the master bedroom at our house in Mar Vista, CA wearing straight legged blue jeans, a red short-sleeved pullover shirt with a white collar, a brown belt and my favorite brown shoes.
When she said, “It ‘s positive…I’m pregnant,” everything changed.
I felt like a bomb had just exploded a few feet above me, releasing an avalanche of responsibility down on me.
My mind raced…
…But…we followed the directions
…This wasn’t supposed to happen
…at least not this soon!
Just a few months earlier in January on a nationwide satellite prayer meeting, the leader of our international ministry had forcefully encouraged all of the new young couples who were called to the ministry to wait at least two years before having children!
I didn’t want to call our pastor because, like many other young couples in our church at that time, we had decided to use natural family planning as our method of birth control. However, unlike any of the other couples, my wife was pregnant before our third month anniversary! We were going to have a child before our first anniversary!!!
I also knew that neither of our parents would be thrilled with the news because, after a 2 1/2 year break, I had just gone back to UCLA and was within a week of completing my first quarter.
But I suppose that is what I get for expecting your mother, whose skin crawls at the thought of following a recipe, to follow directions from a book! But I didn’t know that at the time.
Needless to say, I was overwhelmed.
I knew of nowhere else to go so I turned to the Scriptures…
Psa 127:3 Behold, children are an heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb is his reward.
I thought…
…That has to be true
…God cannot lie
Your mother and I decided to “celebrate” by playing tennis for the very first time. How random is that???
I spent the rest of the evening repeating that truth over and over again…
Children are a blessing…That has to be true!…Children are a blessing…
…hoping that some small bit of faith would enter my heart.
Looking back on all of it this morning, it is easy to see that it truly was the goodness of God to give you to us so early in our marriage.
First, God used your arrival to speed my life up.
…I have to make some money!
Children are a blessing…
At that moment, I had completed 120 units in 3 1/4 years of college.
I immediately decided to attend both sessions of summer school. For the next six months, I continued working my 24 hour per week part-time job. Then, despite the heavy academic load and work schedule, I became fruitful enough in campus ministry that the ministry’s international leader (the same one on the satellite broadcast back in January) told our pastor that I should quit my part-time job, raise financial support and become the director of UCLA’s campus ministry.
One year later, I flew back from helping teach at a national Partnership Development training event in Texas and drove directly to campus in order to attend my graduation ceremony! I had completed 72 units!
So you definitely gave me a kick in the pants!
Second, I have come to believe that God sent you and your brother and sisters to save our marriage.
Although your mother and I were both highly regarded followers of Christ, neither one of us were ready to be a husband or a wife. Our forays into sin had left both of our souls wounded, gnarled and twisted. God, in His wisdom, saw that and mercifully sent you to us to occupy us with the new responsibility of being parents.
At that time in our life, those roles fit us better. I was better at being a father than being a husband and she was better at being a mother than being a wife. Those years of parenting you and your siblings bought your mother and I enough time to heal and mature sufficiently so that we could prosper as husband and wife.
He was also merciful in giving us an easy first child…
I don’t mean that in the way you might think. I mean that we didn’t need very much discernment with you. It was easy for us to tell when you were ‘being bad’ and how we should handle it. God used you to gently start developing our philosophy of parenting and family.
Although we will likely never know with certainty, it is quite possible that you were conceived on your mother’s birthday. I don’t say that because of any vivid memories of that evening! We were newlyweds…
It’s a math thing…
First, your mother took the pregnancy test about 7-8 weeks after her previous cycle. So that fits my guess at the timing. Secondly, you were a little late. you were born 289 days from your mother’s birthday.
Now that I understand how “natural family planning” is supposed to work, I would bet good money that your mother’s charts (if they ever existed!) would verify that she was a very fertile field right around that time!
If my calculations are indeed correct, then you were God’s birthday present to her that year. I just had the pleasant task of being the delivery man!
I have told you many times that you were an ideal first-born child for us. Tonight I tell you that you were also a well-timed child. I am so glad that God interrupted our plans and sent you and your brother and sisters when He did.
Happy Birthday!
Love,
Dad
