She should have listened to me…

Posted on 08/18/2009 by RLW3

I came home from work tonight and saw a fairly large box sitting in the living room.

I wonder what that is? I don’t remember ordering anything…

I don’t remember anyone else talking to me about ordering anything…

It turns out that it is my son’s linens for college. Now I know why my wife didn’t argue with me! And here I thought that she was just bowing under the sheer force of my powerful male logic! Fat chance! She didn’t argue because she had already placed the order!

And now she is not happy. In fact, she is ticked off. Everything is cheap…low quality…

I didn’t say much.

I mean, I tried to tell her…

but…what do I know?

I wonder if she feels like I did when I took her to The Cheesecake Factory to go to the bathroom?

Probably not…

Women are NEVER…wait a minute, let me catch myself…I shouldn’t use the words always and never in a relationship…women are RARELY wrong!

Posted in Marriage, Money | Tagged | Comments Off on She should have listened to me…

That’s why we don’t come here anymore

Posted on 08/16/2009 by RLW3

We visited our 9th church today. We liked the 8th one very much but it is an hour drive. Today’s church was planted by the 8th church so we went with high hopes…

Since the church was near the Plaza (the country’s first outdoor mall), I decided that we should take in the scenery. Well, my wife had to use the restroom.

We went to Starbucks…there was a line.

I then suggested going across the street to The Cheesecake Factory. I knew that they had a nice, clean restroom.

When we got there, I told her that I would just wait outside.

“You mean you brought me here just to use the bathroom?”

I just looked at her. I was watching my innocent plan to bless her was blowing up in my face!

“You’re serious?”

It is amazing how fast a man can shrink.

“You said you had to go to the bathroom and I know that they have nice ones.”

“You brought me to the Cheesecake Factory and we are not going to eat?”

Her disbelief that I intended to defraud her, that I intended to stir up this desire that I had no intention of fulfilling was overwhelming. I realized that I needed to go inside the restaurant before she completely eviscerated me.

As usual, the food was great…until I got the bill.

It suddenly dropped down to the “O.K.” level.

Now I remember why we stopped going there on our date nights.

Posted in Marriage, Money | Tagged | Comments Off on That’s why we don’t come here anymore

They are really behind!

Posted on 08/15/2009 by RLW3

I planned on spending the day at the library reading and studying to figure out what to do with  our stocks.

As I walked in, I saw a group of homosexuals swooning at pictures of other men on the computer. The next table had young men playing video games on the computer.

And I thought people went to the library to actually learn something…I am so out of touch!

As I headed for an empty table in the corner, I saw a table against the wall covered with tax forms.

I thought, “Why do they still have those out? I can’t believe that they haven’t put those away! It’s August…15th!!!”

Then it hit me. Today is the deadline to file taxes for those people who filed for an extension. I happen to be one of them.

When it came tax time back in April, we couldn’t find Cake’s W-2’s…

so I had to file for an extension.

All this month, I kept reminding myself that the date was approaching. Yet, somehow, a week still mysteriously vanished. One day, it was August 7th and the next day was the 15th! How does that happen?

So, the day at the library went out the window. I hurried home, found her tax information, opened up Turbo Tax, finished in time to print the returns out, pick her up from work so she could sign her returns and get to the post office 10 minutes before it closed!

I sure am glad that those library people were so far behind in their work!

Posted in Parenting | Comments Off on They are really behind!

That’s a long 10K

Posted on 08/13/2009 by RLW3

I arrived in KC last year at the end of March. Once I got settled in, it became VERY obvious that our F150 Super Crew had become the victim of deferred maintenance.

Once we fixed the major problems, smaller problems became more noticeable. One of those was that the front wheels lightly “shimmied” when we used brakes.

The rotors on the front brakes were warped. They mechanic said they couldn’t be saved because they had already been machined once before. They had to be replaced and that would cost $400.

Since I was unemployed at the time, I was really trying to keep our expenses to a minimum.

“How long can I go before they HAVE to be replaced?”

“5,ooo miles…10 if your really careful.”

I figured that the less I used the brakes, the longer they would last. How do you not use your brakes? I had to get creative.

I started anticipating red lights. My goal was to not step on the brakes until I was going 30 MPH or slower. Then I made that the goal of whoever was driving! Guess what? It worked!

Yesterday, 15 months later, the brakes started grinding. The brake pads were won out.

I never recorded the mileage when he said that so I have no idea how many actual miles we drove. However, I do know that it gets used EVERY day. On top of that, we have taken trips to Fargo, ND, Nashville, TN and Denver, CO! That’s over 3,000 miles in three weekends!

And, perhaps because of the recession, the price dropped to fix the brakes dropped from $400 to $285!

Posted in Cars, Money | Comments Off on That’s a long 10K

Short sheeted

Posted on 08/11/2009 by RLW3

We received a brochure from Drexel university…they want to sell us a bed linens!

It turns out that they have long twin beds in the dorms and normal twin sheets won’t fit.

But…

lucky for us, they just happen to have three package deals that are just too good to pass up!

At least my wife thinks so…2 sets of sheets, 4 pillowcases, 2 sets of towels, a cute little hamper and all of it “matchy-matchy!”

I really hated to interrupt her flow but sometimes a man’s got to do what a man’s got to do!

“Honey, we are talking about our son.”

That didn’t seem to make any impact at all.

“Why does he need two sets of sheets?”

“Well, that way he will always have a clean one.”

Women! Since when? If my son is anything like the typical young adult male, he will change the sheets when the first set of sheets become unbearable.

“Yes, but then he will be able to wash them and have a clean set waiting.”

“Honey, he’s a guy. He’ll roll them into a ball, throw them in the closet and they will get washed when the second set becomes unbearable. By that time, the first set will be stinking up the whole dorm room! Except he won’t notice because it will be his stink and he kind of likes that smell anyway! He’s a guy!”

I could tell that those thoughts had never crossed her mind. I could see the feminine fog starting to thin a little.

“Think about it…a young man…at college faced with the following decisions…

…go hang out with his friends or wash the sheets?

That’s a tough one but I’m guessing that the friends win.

…sleep in or or wash the sheets?

That is self explanatory. Women will even do that one.

…go to class or wash the sheets?

The sheets better lose this one!

…wrestling or wash the sheets?

The sheets are beginning to stink

…study or wash the sheets?

Maybe the extra set of sheets just might get done.”

I concluded, “We are going to give him one set of sheets and one towel. That way, they will get washed fairly regularly.”

She didn’t really argue much after that.

Posted in Uncategorized | Comments Off on Short sheeted

Are we going in?

Posted on 08/09/2009 by RLW3

Our son is leaving for college in 4 weeks. My wife informed me that he needs clothes.

It must be a chromosomal thing. To a woman, every event in life is a good reason to spend money.

But, to be fair, I had noticed this myself. It seems that he is either dressed in wrestling shorts and T-shirt or really nice duds from Banana Republic. Rarely is there a happy medium.

She mentioned that she just happened to have a 15% off coupon at Kohl’s.

How could I resist that?

I’m skeptical of such “sales”. When I go into a store, which is a rare event, the sale prices don’t seem all that low to me.

“If that shirt is 50% off, I want to meet the person who paid full price”

My wife has even started to come around to my side. She has noticed that stores mark prices up before such sales.

My wife and son went in as soon as we got there. My youngest daughter and I had a choice, sit in the truck in 96º heat or join them.

As I got out of the truck, my daughter asked, “Are we going in?”

“Do you want to sit out here and bake?”

“No. I just didn’t know we were going in.”

“Well, honey, there are only two options. Either we go in or we sit out here and bake.”

“But you never go shopping…”

We went in. I had a small wave of shopping nausea hit me.

My wife greeted me by showing me this totally EMO sweatshirt with these cute little thumb slots in the ends of the sleeves that my son wanted. My skin started crawling. I felt like John Candy and Steve Martin in Planes, Trains and Automobiles.

“Dude, are you unsure?”

“About what?”

“Your gender! Why don’t you go to the dressing room and do a quick check.

“But Dad, it a Tony Hawk! He a famous skateboarder!”

” He should have stuck with that. I ain’t payin’ for that thing. No way.”

This was not heading in the right direction. So, I dove in. I actually started shopping! But, I promise you that it was strictly self-defense!

I wasn’t having much luck. The prices were nothing to write home about.

Then I found the discount racks!!!

60% off…70% off…80% off! I was looking around for the 100% off rack! Now you’re talking!

I pulled 20 shirts off the racks for him to go try on. I figured we would make it like fishing…catch a bunch, keep the good ones and throw the rest back in the water.

Let’s just say that my wife was less than thrilled with my method.

Howevuh…

we walked out with 8 nice shirts for $80!!!

and my daughter was asking me if I could go shopping with her!

Posted in Money, Uncategorized | Tagged , , | Comments Off on Are we going in?

Looky here!

Posted on 08/07/2009 by RLW3

A year ago, I put most of our savings in the stock market. I figured that it was better than earning 2.4% in a CD.

Boy, was I wrong!

In just a few short months, we had less than half of what we started with!

I was so discouraged that I stopped looking at it.

Then in May, I noticed that two of our stocks were doing well.

I checked this past week and we are almost all of the way back!

Now I have to decision to make.…

Do I say thank you and get out or do I take a chance and keep them in?

Posted in Money | Comments Off on Looky here!

Here comes the lawnmower

Posted on 08/05/2009 by RLW3

Someone decided that the grass was getting a little too tall. It looks like our “green shoots” are getting mowed down.

My son went back to each of the fast food places to follow up on his applications. When they asked him what his plans were, he chose to tell them the truth: that he would be leaving for college in a few weeks. One by one, they turned him down.

Jimmy John’s won’t hire my son because the training period is SIX WEEKS!!! Come on! They’re not making computer chips. It’s a dang sandwich shop! Six weeks for what???

Anyway, it looks like it back to tongue sandwiches for me!

Posted in Money, Parenting | Comments Off on Here comes the lawnmower

Our own “green shoots”

Posted on 08/04/2009 by RLW3

There has been much talk in the media about “green shoots” springing up in the economy…

We had our “green shoots” sprout up in our own personal economy today…

Our son went out and looked for a job!

I said it that way for effect.

The truth is that he has tried to find work this summer but his wrestling schedule made it difficult. Hey, scholarship athletes have problems too!

So, he has been sitting around the apartment quite a bit…

and that has caused me quite a bit of consternation.

I have managed to keep my mouth shut for the most part. But, I assure you that it has not been easy. My favorite meal this summer has been tongue. I say that because I have been biting mine almost daily.

We are down to five weeks before he leaves for Drexel. He needs to make some money!

So, today he applied at five fast food places! Let me tell you, I like that a whole bunch. Even if no one hires him, he became a better man today because he refused to become a victim of his circumstances. He exerted himself and tried to change them.

Stay tuned…

Posted in Money, Parenting | Comments Off on Our own “green shoots”

She’s back!

Posted on 08/02/2009 by RLW3

I picked my wife up at the airport this morning.

I was VERY glad to see her…IF you know what I mean!

I may be almost 50 but I’m not old yet!

I know that I have written about this before, but it bears repeating…

Living alone is really overrated!

I mean, I didn’t sit around moping, pining for someone to return home…

I read. I studied. I reorganized the storage facility while I found a few books that I  wanted to read. But after awhile…

it’s nice to talk to someone.

Posted in Marriage | Tagged | Comments Off on She’s back!