Esplain me this

Posted on 05/02/2009 by RLW3

I told you that we might be moving…

Well, we are.

I went to the apartment office to inquire about renewing our lease. I was greeted by exceptionally good news when I got there. It turns out that they lowered their prices a few days ago. In fact, they lowered the price on our apartment by $135/mo.!

Ah, but there is a catch…

It is only available to new renters…

“If you move out of your apartment and move into another unit, you will get the reduced rate.”

“And if we want to stay in our current unit, we have to pay full price!?”

“That’s right.”

dog Huh?

I don’t get that…

Some genius with multiple advanced degrees who was recently fired for mismanaging his bank’s hedge fund probably applied one of his obscure financial algorithms to the apartment leasing field and and convinced the owners of the complex that they will make more money by having our unit sit vacant for AT LEAST one month this next year rather than continue leasing it for all 12 months to a faithful renter who actually likes the apartment and has taken very good care of it!

There are already two of the eight 3BR units in our building sitting empty. I suppose that a third vacancy will ensure profitability!

But what do I know? I’m just a renter…

Anyway, that was all of the nudge that I needed. After checking four other complexes, I decided to stay in our current complex and move into a 2BR/2BA unit in the building next to ours.

Although it will be smaller, I think that it better located and has better views than our current unit along with brand new carpet! All three of the girls at the complex office cannot believe that it has sat vacant for so long.

And it is $250 month cheaper!

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The Grille is Gone

Posted on 05/01/2009 by RLW3
“The grille is gone,
The grille is gone away
The grille is gone,
The grille is gone away
No more oatmeal and soup
I can eat solid food again today

Those are my modified lyrics to legendary blues guitarist B.B. King’s song “The Thrill is Gone.” The original song is a sorrowful tale of love betrayed and lost. Mine is about the joy of being able to use my front teeth again.

I went back to the dentist today and got all of that stuff taken out of my mouth. The best news is that my mouth has healed enough from the surgery that I don’t have to have new packing put in.

You have no idea what great news that is…

I have had bad breath before. It is not a pleasant thing to realize. However, the packing in my mouth made my breath so bad that I couldn’t stand being near me! Seriously!

Several times in the last two weeks, I inadvertently touched my mouth with my hands only to be repulsed by the smell. I immediately left my desk to go wash my hands. It was BAD!!!

Whenever I had to talk to someone, I would keep my mouth as closed as possible and turn my face away from them or talk down towards the floor. I couldn’t stand to see tears begin flowing from their eyes or their face beginning to melt like wax. It was so bad that I began to wonder if I could “slay them with the breath of my mouth.”

So, if I couldn’t stand the smell, there was no way I was going to kiss my wife! Oh, she was willing to try…how bad could it be…

“NO WAY…”

“C’mon”

“NOT A CHANCE…”

“But I don’t care.”

“I don’t care if you don’t care. I care. I’ll kiss you on Friday.”

Well, it could just be circumstantial…

or perhaps the truth has finally come out…

You may recall that three weeks ago, I unintentionally scuttled my wife’s plans to take a trip to Tennessee. (Start here and read the next two posts) Well, she decided to leave this morning.

She said that her friend was flying in from the Virgin Islands this weekend…

What if she couldn’t bear the thought of kissing me?

What if this is just a convenient way to escape?

Maybe my version of the lyrics should really be…

“My gril (picture a sign on the boy’s treehouse forbidding entry to any member of the female species) is gone!” 
My gril is gone away
My gril is gone
My gril is gone away
The smell was just too bad
She just couldn’t bear to stay
Well, I still enjoyed the fajitas!
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Just too dang polite

Posted on 04/30/2009 by RLW3

My son drove the Honda to wrestling practice last night. It is about 50 miles for the whole trip.

When he got home, he was thoughtful enough to tell me that the car was almost out of gas rather than letting me discover this fact when I left for work this morning. I don’t know why he didn’t put gas into the car. Anyway…

I told him that was fine. I had to take the truck because I couldn’t figure out how to fit three tires inside the Honda.

I had been home for about 45 minutes when my phone rang…

“Hello…”

“Hey, Dad…where are you?”

“Home.”

“I don’t know what happened but the car didn’t tell me and it ran out of gas.”

????????

“The light never went on!”

I didn’t think that work but I was never willing to drive to the end of the tank to find out. Now I don’t have to. My son had done my exploring for me.

“Dude, you told me last night that the car was out of gas.”

“I know. Can you come help me?”

I had just started heating water for my before bed cup of tea. I was actually looking forward to getting to bed on time for the first time this week.

But, NOOOOOOO…

My son needs me to come and help him because he must not have listened to HIMSELF when he told ME that the car was out of gas!

Where are our gas cans? We had three of them when we lived in LA…

Down to the storage facility…

I hope I can get in…

Great…

Where are our gas cans? I don’t see any of them. Shoot! Come to think of it, I don’t remember seeing them in the fourteen times that I have reorganized our stuff.

Over to Walmart…

To the area with the “Cars and Trucks” sign over it…

I don’t even know how to describe the stuff that was there but it had nothing to do with cars and trucks.

I went to the area that where the “Cars and Trucks” sign formerly was hung.

Ah, there it is.…WHAT IS THIS????

The gas can comes with operating instructions! I am not kidding.

I AM NOT buying a gas can that I have to learn how to operate! Just give me one that I can fill up and pour out! That’s it!

My phone rang…it’s my son…

“Dad, I don’t know how it happened but I just decided to start the car and there is gas in it now and we are driving down the road at 70 MPH.”

“Where are you?”

“1/2 mile from home.”

My mind starts racing. If he is 1/2 mile from home, then he is driving 70 MPH on our street????

“Where are you?”

“1/2 mile from home.”

I am already not real happy that I am looking for a gas can at Walmart when I would have been asleep if only my son would have been a little less polite and eavesdropped on his own conversation with me last night. Now I am getting impatient.

“What street are you on?”

“The freeway!”

At this point, I lost a little of my ability to modulate the volume of my voice. Even though I was in the middle of Walmart, I didn’t really care all that much.

“How can you be 1/2 mile from home and still be on the freeway?” 

“Noooo. I’m a half mile from Holmes!”

I stayed on the phone long enough to hear him get off the freeway, run out of gas again and push the car with his friend into the gas station.

I’m going to bed!
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Never a doubt

Posted on 04/30/2009 by RLW3

I left work today with my last trip to Texas still on my mind. Internally, I  was warming my leg for the whole drive up just in case I needed to kick myself.

It was worth it.

I made the right decision.

The hour drive to Agency, MO proved fruitful.

I drove through some very beautiful country and learned quite a bit about farming.

Did you know that when diesel was $4.80/gallon, farmers were spending $1,000/day on fuel for one tractor?

Oh, yeah…the man was honest…the tires were like new!

And he gave me $10 off since I did all of that driving! Three nearly new tires for $80!

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Back in the box

Posted on 04/30/2009 by RLW3

My great plan was foiled!

My wife took Wild Bill to the tire shop this morning. They were going to take the four old tires and rims off and put the four that I just bought on for a grand total of $24.

My phone rang this morning. When I saw that it was my wife, I suspected that the news might not be good…It wasn’t.

The rims don’t fit! They go on but not correctly. Evidently, someone at Ford had a better idea!

“Let’s change the spacing just slightly so the old wheels WON’T FIT!”

Back to Craig’s List.

Well, look here. A guy in Agency, MO has three “nearly new” tires in the size that is currently on the truck for $90.

Where is Agency, MO?…

An hour away! Uh, oh…This is starting to feel familiar…I’ve done this before…

What if this guy’s idea of nearly new tires is like the guy in Texas with the “beautiful” car!

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It’s better outside the box

Posted on 04/29/2009 by RLW3

Wild Bill threw a shoe recently. When we (really my wife and kids) have had to use the truck, we have been driving on a spare.

My son, always trying to be helpful, went out of his way on several occasions to point out that two of the remaining three tires don’t look all that hot. He went so far as to actually get a price for a set of four new tires.

“Dad, we can get four new tires mounted and balanced for $300. Do you want to do it?”

How could I refuse? It is so-o-o-o much cheaper than the $800 whitewall tires he was pleading with me to buy just a few weeks earlier!

As you probably know, I have tried to move Wild Bill onto a different pasture on several occasions. However, finding a buyer for my faithful old steed has proved to be more difficult than I first imagined. So, when the tire blew, the last thing that I want to do is spend $80-100 on a vehicle that we barely use. Never mind $300.

I decided to hop out of the $300 box that my son was trying to squeeze me into and started thinking of an alternate solution.

“If I could find 16″ rims (it has 15″ rims), I could take the tires off of my SuperCrew and put them on Wild Bill. Then, I will only be buying new tires for our nice truck, which we will have to do at some point in the next year.”

I went on Craig’s List and found a set of 16″ tires and rims that fit Wild Bill. Price…$100!

Even though it was raining fairly heavily, I headed over to the seller’s house. Things tend to sell quickly on Craig’s List here.

After a quick check to make sure that the rims had the right bolt pattern, I gladly gave the man the money. Problem solved. I am getting used tires with good tread that will definitely last until I am ready to put new tires on the SuperCrew!

Noggin!

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My self-induced Sisyphean challenge

Posted on 04/28/2009 by RLW3

I know why people don’t exercise: it’s hard!

and discouraging!

In January,  I was running a little better than an 8 minute mile pace for almost 4 miles. Now, just 3 1/2 months later, I can’t barely run 3 miles…

AT ANY PACE!!!

Man, decay happens!

and so quickly!

Why am I doing this? Oh yeah, because I want to rebuild my body for the second half of my life.

But if my body can go downhill so quickly when I stop…

I feel like Sisyphus pushing the boulder up the hill again!

I guess I looked at this like winding a watch. When I was younger, I would start working out to get in better shape and it would last for several years. I got in great shape when I was 30 years old and it took a good 10 years before it was nearly all lost.

Now, the watch is older. The internal working parts don’t hold the energy as long. The watch seems to need to be wound continuously.

So, instead of rebuilding my body for the second half of life, I guess I am looking at exercising for the rest of my life. The thought of becoming a couch potato is looking more and more attractive.

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Soup on the half grille

Posted on 04/27/2009 by RLW3

I had dental surgery a week ago Friday. All of my lower front teeth are covered with some material called packing. That “packing” has a layer of aluminum foil covering it. So, I look like a rapper with my “grille”.

However, since it only covers my lower teeth, it has been dubbed by my co-worker as a “half grille”.

All of this paraphernalia in my mouth has limited what I can eat. For the past 10 days, my diet has consisted of eggs, oatmeal, soups, mashed potatoes and pasta. At work, lunch consists of a can of chicken noodle soup and a couple of slices of bread broken into very small pieces.

So when I pulled my can of soup out today, instead of oysters on the half shell, I had…

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Do you want to downsize that?

Posted on 04/26/2009 by RLW3

It’s getting windy again here in KS.

But I’m not just talking about the weather. The winds of change are visiting our family…AGAIN!!!

2 1/2 years ago, we had four children in our home. In less than four months, we will be down to one! My son graduates on May 16th. He will be leaving for college by the end of August.

If you remove one 18 year old male along with all of the food that he eats and all of the messes that he leaves everywhere, we won’t really need a large 3 BR apartment any more.

As I was looking at the layouts of the 2BR apartments, I had the had to keep reminding myself that I was looking for something for three of us. In some ways, it does feel a little like trying to keep your feet under you in a gusting windstorm.

The idea of moving again is not my favorite thought but $3,000 is a pretty strong inducement. That is how much we will save in the next year if we downsize. I will lose my office/library but that is not the end of the world.

Our lease expires at the end of May but I have to make a decision and notify them of our intentions by this Thursday.

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So that’s how you do it

Posted on 04/25/2009 by RLW3

It seems that if it’s Saturday, I am spending the day with my son at a wrestling tournament. Today was no exception.

He won again. This is his third tournament in a row.

However, he had a really tough second match. At a crucial point at the end of the first period, he picked his opponent up over his head and slammed him to the mat. He was awarded 3 points.

After the match was over, he asked the ref why it wasn’t a 5 point move. That would have automatically ended the match.

The referee then proceeded to explain that you have to arch your back when you throw your opponent in the air. In other words, there has to be a little artistic, aesthetic quality as you pummel your opponent. No arch, no 5 pointer.

So, the whistle sounded to start his third match. My son shot in got the guy’s leg, picked him up over his head and arched his back and threw him to the mat. 5 point move, match over. Time expired…4 seconds!

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