Much more than I had hoped for

Posted on 01/16/2009 by RLW3

I have once again been amazed at the goodness of God!

In previous posts, I have told you about the dramatic changes that God has been bringing about in my second daughter. As profound as the last big change was, it turned out that it was just the next big step.

As a father, I know how fast life will come at my children because I have seen it in my own life. Therefore, I continually push them to mature, to accept responsibility, to develop good character and habits. Their foundation needs to be solid before the storms of life start beating against their house.

In my eyes, Kimba’s wandering cost her dearly. Time was lost. Bad decisions were made. To her credit, rather than running or pretending, she is turning and facing the consequences. I am so proud of how honest she is being with herself.

Although she asked Mom and I to once again exercise authority in her life, I don’t feel the freedom to begin barging into her life. I much prefer to be invited.

However, there is much ground that needs to be recovered. Where should I begin? How do I bring it up?

It turns out that I don’t have to. God has done more in the last two weeks than I could have hoped for in the next six months!

When Kimba went back to work at The Macaroni Grill after Christmas, she cried when she learned that the manager who hired her and has really believed in her was being moved to another location. However, her new manager is more than a manager at a local restaurant. She is a gift from God!

She has a history of helping young people achieve their dreams in life. I don’t mean just succeeding in their work responsibilities. I mean life! She has already sat down and pressed Kimba to tell her what she wants to accomplish in her life and what practical obstacles she is facing (debt and education!). She is working with Kimba to develop a practical plan to achieve her dreams and then to walk it out!

How much better is that than hearing your father bring up painful areas in your life?!

God is doing more in her heart than I had hoped for much faster than I could have imagined. I have decided that I will just continue to stay in the place of prayer and stay out of His way!

Posted in Children, Parenting | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

The front page hits home

Posted on 01/15/2009 by RLW3

Two days ago, my oldest daughter, Bean, called me to tell me that her roommate was laid off with no severance. Her company, Nortel, declared bankruptcy.

She had worked there for about one year right out of college. Her aunt, however, had given the company 20 years of hard work. Although she had earned 11 months of severance pay, she got none! Her heart is broken.

Unfortunately, (or fortunately, depending on how you look at it) I can sympathize with them. I was laid off this very week one year ago. I too had worked VERY hard for the company for 11 years. What made it a little surreal is how it happened.

In October of 2006, I received a promotion and a raise in pay for outstanding performance. In March of 2007, I was the apple of the GM’s eye. Then a new CFO came in, demoted the GM, hired a new one who made it obvious that I was not in his plans. 10 months later, I was told to clean out my desk.

My story is not unique. Neither is theirs. It happens all of the time. However, it is one thing to read about it or hear about it. It is quite another when you are in the story.

I wasn’t caught completely by surprise. I could see the writing on the wall. However, I just couldn’t bring myself to believe that they would actually make that decision. Bean’s roommate didn’t really consider other possible options as the company’s fortunes were turning because she would have had to take a pay cut.

Was it pride? Was I just stupid? Was her aunt naive to think that her loyal service would be requited? Perhaps. Life looks much different when viewed through the rear view mirror.

But you won’t get very far trying to drive through life while looking through the rear view mirror. You drive looking ahead. Most of the time, we make our decisions in the bright light of hope.

Sometime life unexpectedly turns that light off. Sometimes the road we have chosen has a section that is closed. Perhaps the last storm caused a mudslide, a sinkhole or washed out a bridge.

Our character determines how long that light stays off. After we come to terms with the fact that our plans didn’t work out, that we can’t get to our destination the way we thought we could, and that our schedule is messed up, we have to get back in the car, turn it around and figure out another way to get where we want to go.

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It’s just not fair

Posted on 01/14/2009 by RLW3

I regularly run 4 miles and do not lose any weight. But I have no room to complain.

My wife ran a marathon a few years ago and didn’t lose any weight!

But my son ran three miles to school this morning and lost two pounds!

He had to run to school. Why? Because he had to lose 9 pounds in 36 hours to make weight this morning for is wrestling match tonight…

He lost 10!

…and then pinned the kid in the third period.

Growing older just isn’t fair.

Posted in Children, Physical | Tagged , , | 1 Comment

The spoils of victory

Posted on 01/13/2009 by RLW3

As a human being, I want people to like me, to think well of me. However, as a father, if I am going to faithfully carry out my resposibilities, I frequently can’t indulge those desires. Many times I have to be the “bad guy” and make an unpopular decision.

In most of those cases, I am usually unpopular with my children. However, sometimes the outside world is not happy with me. 

My youngest daughter’s education has not helped my popularity since I have been here in Kansas. It seems that every few months, my decisions regarding this subject have caused somebody to be displeased with me.

In May, at the end of the last school year, the private school was not happy with me when I informed them that Cakes would be attending the public high school this year. They thought that I was making a big mistake.

The public high school administration was not happy with me one month ago when I informed them that she would be dropping her Comm Arts class (they don’t teach English composition anymore!) to enroll her in a course on the Great Books of Western civilization. They thought that I was making a big mistake.

Today, I got a nice taste of victory. Cakes logged on to her first session with the Great Books class and her new tutor. She was so excited that she sent me a text message during the class and followed up with a phone call afterwards. My 16 year old daughter is excited about learning! And just for your information, they aren’t reading romance novels. She is learning the history of Ancient Rome

I hope I made the right decisions…

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We might have scored!

Posted on 01/11/2009 by RLW3

One of the keys to prospering financially is not letting people take your money. I might have had a major long term financial success today!

I have been looking for a reliable, economical car for quite awhile. To be honest, it has been difficult.

More often than not, after calling on a car and deciding that it is not quite what I was looking for, the seller would then inform me that they have another one or two that they are selling. After asking a few questions, I would discover that their husband or brother or cousin works at a body shop and the car that I originally called on is actually an accident recovery.

The other half of the population are slick used car salesmen. I have never seen so many “wholesale” car dealers. LA is child’s play! And they put their advertisements in the “Cars for Sale by Owner” category on Craig’s List. The call usually goes something like this:

“Oh, its a great car! You can’t find many of these!”

After finding out the cars “few’ flaws, “I don’t think that is what I am looking for.”

“Oh, well, I’m a dealer and I have another great car just like it…”

Then there are the beautiful cars that are SOOO CHEAP! But when you e-mail them, and it is always e-mail, never a phone number, you get an e-mail back informing you that the seller is in the military and the car was just shipped from London to Iraq and he would like to do the deal through E-bay because they offer the buyer special protection…BS…BS…BS…BS

Because of that, I almost didn’t call on a 2001 Toyota Solara with 144,000 miles on it for $3,650! It seemed another of those “to good to be true” scams except that it had a local phone number. I called only to learn that it was already sold! It had only been listed for a few hours!

I asked the seller why the car was so cheap. He informed me up front that he was a “wholesale” dealer. Anyway, to make a long story short, I liked the way this man did business. He seemed quite candid and transparent. It turns out that he is just getting started “officially” with his own lot in the not so nice part of town.

I liked him so much that I called him earlier this week and told him that I was interested in developing a long term business relationship with him. If he would sell me good cars at a good price, I would buy all of my cars and my children’s cars from him. He said that he was VERY interested.

Today, I took the whole family with me and met him face to face for the first time. I asked my wife if she trusted him and she said yes so we bought a nice black 1997 VW Cabriolet convertible with a cream leather interior with 90,000 miles on it AT HIS COST! No, it’s not a line. He showed me his purchase ticket.

I think we might have found a great source for cars here!

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What to do?

Posted on 01/10/2009 by RLW3

I had a strange sensation this morning. I woke up and didn’t know what to do with myself.

For the past 9 months, Saturday morning was not much different than Monday through Friday. I just got up and resumed working on whatever I didn’t finish the day before. However, this Saturday morning had a very different feel to it. 

It was my first Saturday that followed a work week. That means that this was my first “weekend” since early March. And I realized that I didn’t have a clue what to do with myself.

Why? Well, for as long as I can remember (and I really do mean that), when the work week ended, I have awakened with years worth of construction projects staring me in the face. EVERY Saturday was completely spoken for as far into the future as I could see.

Until this morning…

I now live in an apartment. I have nothing to fix. What do most men do?

I ended up looking for a car on the Internet. 18 MPG for 60 miles of daily driving is not a good long term financial plan.

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I’m back in the saddle again

Posted on 01/09/2009 by RLW3

I have completed my first week of work and have already started affecting change. However, I can’t take much credit. It seems that the people who have worked there for many years were all hoping for some changes but were just so locked into the way things are that they couldn’t initiate them. And lo and behold, I arrive and ask them if it is agreeable to change this or that. On more than one occasion, I heard a response that sounded like “Finally!”

I must say that it feels good to be “back in the saddle” again.

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Thanks for a life well lived

Posted on 01/08/2009 by RLW3

A great man died on Wednesday. His funeral will be tomorrow night. You can read the obituary here.

I came to know him through the kindness of God.

Gene Burgin was the father of Sandy Burgin. Sandy Burgin married David Houston. David and Sandy moved from Florida to Los Angeles in 1981 with a team of eight people to start a church at UCLA. I was their first convert.

Over the years, I have repeatedly marveled at the dramatic change in my life that began twenty eight years ago. I went from a lost, twisted young man who was rapidly destroying his life with illegal drugs and immoral relationships to a reasonably successful father of four children and husband of one wife.

I cannot be at the funeral tonight but I still wanted to pay my respects.

Mr. Burgin, thank you for the way you treated your wife and daughter. Your example made a big impression on your son-in-law (my pastor) and he in turn made a big impression on me. Together, David and Sandy taught my wife and I how to be man and wife. The stories of how you loved your children continue to guide me as I love mine. Although you are gone, your life continues to influence more people than you know. Thank you for living life well.

Posted in Friends, Masculinity, Parenting | Comments Off on Thanks for a life well lived

Young people!

Posted on 01/07/2009 by RLW3

Ever time I have seen my son wrestle has been in a tournament. Tonight, I watched him wrestle in a dual meet for the first time. A dual meet is one school vs. another. 

He won his match but he didn’t wrestle all that well. It is obvious that he has improved since the last time that I saw him before Christmas. However, he was huffing and puffing.

After the meet, I asked him why HE thought he was so weak. I had expressed my opinion in the form of a prediction three days before the match so I kept quiet.

It was interesting to watch what happened next. He actually tried to answer me without opening his mouth. Wounded ego can have that effect.

“I guess it was from cutting weight.”

It was as if his lips were stuck together, not unlike when Agent Smith is beginning to interrogate Mr. Andersen (Neo) in the movie “The Matrix”.

Why don’t young people listen to older people??? They think that we are stupid! But we’re not! We were…

back when we were young people.

And then we got older and realized that we were stupid and so we became wiser and now we are trying to help you. But they are still young! And therefore, they are still…well…you know…

“Sooooo liiisssstennnn to meeeee! I am trying to help yoouuuu!!!”

Why am I on this little rant? Thank you for asking.

My son has decided that he has to rediscover all of the dietary laws for himself. What do I mean by that?

For several days after Christmas, he stuffed himself on everyone’s favorite health food…potato chips! (If you haven’t read the post about God, Satan and food, please do. It is hilarious. Potato chips show up in the eighth paragraph.)

Then, after his first post-Christmas practice, came home and announced that saturated fats really hinder your performance!

“You’re kidding me! Did you discover that ALL by yourself? WOW! Son, thanks for telling me.”

So, his latest dietary hypothesis has been that he wrestles better when he gorges on food between matches and then radically cuts weight a few days before. And I have to give him credit, he has proven that he can lose weight quickly and very predictably. In fact, he lost 10 pounds in two days before tonight’s match…

and he was weak.

So, his theory has been disproven. He has REDISCOVERED what his mother and I have already known and have been trying to tell him. But, alas, he had to discover it for himself.

I think I agree with the grumpy old man on the porch in It’s a Wonderful Life who said, \”Aw, youth is wasted on the wrong people!\”

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Definitely not that!

Posted on 01/06/2009 by RLW3

My first day of work went without a major event. It seems like it is going to be very much like what I have done for the last 11 years except a little less hectic.

I have to work on my attitude a little. While I am sincerely grateful for the job, I am very clear in my mind that this is not what I want to do for the rest of my life!

While sitting through various training sessions, I couldn’t help thinking how much I would rather be doing church work. I have decided to send in my Bible school application this week!

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