Something amazing happened tonight. My wife and I came to understand each other a little better.
You might say, “What is so amazing about that?”
Well, it’s just the way it happened. (This is going to be a long post so you should probably get comfortable)
My wife and I had just been marveling that I will be interviewed by two men on Monday morning for a position pastoring a church! It is such an unexpected turn of events.
A few minutes later, I looked up from my laptop and I could tell that something was bothering her. After 5-10 minutes of the “What’s wrong, honey?” – “Nothing” dance, she finally told me.
“Well, I was picturing your interview and I started thinking about your teeth.”
Many times over the course of our relationship, my wife has very nicely and gently mentioned the fact that my bottom teeth are crooked. They weren’t always that way. My wisdom teeth were impacted and reconfigured my smile when I was 21 years old.
Now, you need to know that we have been under financial pressure for our entire marriage. We have NEVER had a savings account. It has been paycheck to paycheck for 22 years!
So, when she would ask me if I wanted to get my teeth fixed, I evaluated it in the context of our finances, the innumerable things that we needed as a family, things that needed to be done on the house, etc., etc., etc. I didn’t say this but I would think, “Are you crazy? No, I’m not going to fix my teeth. I have all these things (take your pick and fill in the blanks) that are much more important! I’m definitely not going into debt for it! I don’t care if people don’t like my teeth!”
Tonight, I learned that throughout all of these years, she thought I wouldn’t consider it just to spite her!
Then she really rocked me. She told me that it was more important to her than a new diamond ring! I had no idea! WOW!!! I still can’t quite get my mind around that one!
I mean, I talk to my wife all of the time. I am CONSTANTLY asking her what she is thinking, feeling, etc. Yet, even with that effort, here we have had a significant misunderstanding for our entire marriage!
And, if she didn’t tell me that it was more important to her than a diamond ring, that misunderstanding would have continued to harm our relationship! I would have been secretly saving for a ring and she would be wondering why I was “refusing” to fix my teeth.
It is just amazing to me.
