Lord of the Castle

I never cease to be amazed by my own weakness…

I came home from work last night, ate my dinner and headed up to the bedroom to tackle my latest construction project.

You would think that the fact that I dang near built an entire house in California would make this bedroom remodel would be a piece of cake.

But, I have never faced this problem before. I don’t technically know the “right answer”.

So, I found myself looking up at the ceiling with the voice of fear yapping in my head…

“What if you can’t figure out how to fix this?…

“What if your idea doesn’t work?…

“What if you do it wrong?…

I did what I advise my children to do…the only thing that I knew to do…

I just dove in and did the next thing.

Two hours later, the problem was solved. All that remains is basic construction.

Victory!

I had a practical demonstration of the destructive nature of the welfare state this morning…

My wife left for Texas yesterday afternoon.

She will be staying with our oldest daughter, Bean this entire week while attending the Southwest Believer’s Convention in Fort Worth. She has been attending this conference for over 20 years

The timing is great for her. She just finished a very challenging summer session on Thursday.

Her physiology professor didn’t care all that much about test grades. Instead, he insisted that his students, most of whom hope to enter the medical profession, actually learned and understood the material.

Her second class was in philosophy. You have to know my wife…let’s just say that philosophy was not her cup of tea.

Needless to say, she had to work very hard in both classes.

So, the timing of this conference could not have been better. I am glad that she could go.

Now to the point…

I woke up this morning just like always. I did everything the same as I usually do. It was when I went down to the kitchen at 6:05 that I realized that she wasn’t there.

My wife gets up every morning at 6:00. She makes me a quick egg sandwich and packs my lunch for me.

I had not given one thought to what I was going to eat that day.

And it wasn’t that I realized everything all at once…

First, I realized that she wasn’t there to make an egg sandwich for my breakfast.

Then, I realized that I had no idea what I was going to have for lunch…or snacks…or dinner!

I got to work seven, count them, seven minutes late! Not good!!!

This is a common sight in my neck of the woods. Deer seem to be everywhere in both states…

No, I don’t mean Kansas and Missouri…

I mean dead or alive!

It is very rare to drive a road or freeway for any length of time without seeing one lying dead on the side of the road.

This sign is about 1 minute from my house on a reasonably busy two lane road. When I hopped in the car, I thought I should probably get a shot of  a deer while I am at it since they are there nearly every day, eating and glamming it up on the side of the road.

Sure enough, as soon as I got a shot of the sign, an actual critter popped out of the woods for his cameo.

Most people think they are cute. The people who regularly see them in their yards hate them.The universal complaint is that they eat everything in sight! For instance, my mother, who is a very caring woman calls them large rodents.

Since we haven’t tried growing anything yet, we still think that they are cute.

On our way home from church yesterday, I saw one of these ever present signs. But something caught my eye…

Something was different…

I couldn’t quite figure it out so I stopped the truck and backed up. This is what I saw…

Now that looks like fun!

I eat almonds for a snack at work. They’re good for you…or me.

And, I can eat them without getting Dunlop’s disease.

You say you’ve never heard of that?

You see men with that condition all of the time if you care to look…That’s where your belly done lopped over your belt!

As I was eating them a few days ago, I felt a little bit of a pain in the back of my mouth.

My gum started swelling. I thought that a piece of almond shrapnel had somehow lodged between my teeth and gum…

I tried to clean it out myself with just about everything that I could get hold of…a toothpick, dental floss, a gum brush…you name it, I tried it.

Las night, my wife made a great salad. However, it had baby carrots in it. It tasted great but every bite was a painful challenge.

This afternoon, when my throat started getting sore, I decided to go to a dentist down the street to get the almond out.

I no sooner sat down in the chair and opened my mouth when the dental assistant nearly gasped.

“I’ve been doing this a long time and I have never seen an absess like that. I don’t think that’s a trapped almond. I want to take an x-ray.”

A cynical thought in my head that she was just trying increase the billable services. The serious tone in her voice and the expression on her face kept me from just walking out.

“How much will that cost?”

“Nothing.”

She really was serious.

She shot the x-ray and I sat in the chair waiting for it to be processed.

I sat there mildly stewing…

“This was just supposed to be a quick ‘in and out’ visit…”

“Why did I come here?…”

“I should have just made an appointment with my regular dentist…”

The next time she appeared, the dentist was with her.

There was no almond to be found. My tooth is infected!

I need a root canal!

Yiikes!

I’ve got to call my dentist because I am going to need a second opinion on that!

They prescribed an antibiotic and told me to take Vicodin for the pain.

Needless to say, I am not feeling very energetic tonight!

Last night, I thought so much that my brain just stopped working. I know from experience that if I proceed in that frame of mind, all I will accomplish is to make new mistakes!

So I went to bed last night pondering a brain teaser. How do I build a ceiling that doesn’t make the room look like one of Willy Wonka’s (the original) weird rooms?

This morning, I woke up with an answer!

The bedroom has vaulted ceilings with a 14′ peak. The bedroom is over 20′ wide.

That is quite a bit of unsupported weight. Here is the theory that popped into my brain this morning…

The roof/ceiling is exerting a downward force. Along the front of the house, the side walls are tied together through the front wall so it can’t go anywhere.

However, the walls at the back of the bedroom have no such support. So, I theorized that the side walls in the rear of the room gave in and moved outward.

I grabbed a level and checked. Sure enough.

Each wall is out about an inch from top to bottom.

I just wish I had thought of this when the previous owners were fixing everything. If I fix it by jacking up the roof, it will cause all of the drywall seams that they just fixed to crack again.

Neither my wife nor I am interested in that.

So, I am just going to proceed with the ceiling. At least it will stop it from any further movement.

I started working on the remodeling of our master bedroom and very quickly discovered a problem.

I am installing a flat ceiling underneath the vaulted ceiling. Essentially, I am making a type of attic. The new ceiling will have R-30 insulation in it thereby keeping the room cooler in the summer and warmer in the winter.

I had no sooner got out my tape and started measuring when I discovered that the rafters in the back of the room is nearly two inches lower than the front of the room!

Yiikes!

This is going to take  some figgerin’.