or else the contractor might not…

Since our offer on the house was accepted, it seems that everything has to be done right now!

“We were going to paint the outside this color, the inside this color, use these color light fixtures, this type and color countertops, this type of tile here, here and here. If you want anything change, you have to let us know by…”

The time that we have to decide seems like it is ALWAYS tomorrow morning.

If we don’t, “the contractor might not be able to finish by the 25th” is dangled over our head like the sword of Damocles.

Take the exterior paint. Two Saturdays ago, we had not even made an official offer on the house but we HAD to select the exterior paint by Monday “so that they could know that we are serious.”

They haven’t started painting yet! Of course, it has been raining, but still!

Last weekend, we HAD decide if we wanted to used the tile that they picked out for around the fireplace and what color we wanted the interior painted.

They were going to do everything in “neutral” colors to optimize their chances for resale. Coffee exterior, coffee interior, coffee tile…The only difference was how much cream we were putting in the various cups!

We are going to actually be living there. So, I am not the least bit interested in decorating so that no one on planet earth is offended! I don’t want to come home to a tepid home. I want to see beauty. So, I don’t want to use their tile and I didn’t want to use their interior paint!

But, that means that I have to decide what I do want to use…

right away…

or else…

How should I know? I have been in the house for a total of 15 minutes!!!

My wife and I looked at every tile or stone that Lowe’s had…the best I could must up was “That’s okay…I guess.”

I had a hunch we should try Home Depot so off we went.

They had even less selection.

My wife took me over to show me their carpet selection and as we were heading out of the store, we saw the stone that we wanted around the fireplace!

If you like it, great. If not, sorry!

Anyway, two down! Interior paint to go!

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I write the songs…

It’s only a matter of time now…

Fame and fortune have to be just around the corner!

My fledgling career as a songwriter officially began yesterday morning when my youngest daughter, Cakes, made her “unofficial” singing debut!

If you are new to this blog, Cakes can really sing!…not in a “Wow, your voice is so amazing” kind of way…It’s more of a “why do I suddenly feel like crying” way. Her voice touches your heart when she sings.

Back in January, I was walking through Cake’s room to go sit on the side balcony when she said, “Dad, listen to this song that I am writing!”

She played the melody. It was really pretty.

“What about the words?”

“Well, I was wondering if you could help me?”

“Well, do you have anything?”

“Kind of…”

“Let’s hear it.”

She played it again with the words

“That is not what that song is about!”

“What do you mean?”

“The words don’t fit that melody.”

It just so happened that I had talked with each of my three “departed” children on the phone that very week. I was struck by the fact that although each of their circumstances were VERY different, I found myself repeating the same admonition to each of them: “You have to remember who you are.”

When I heard her sing along with her melody, that thought came to my mind. So, I wrote out some lyrics to the first two verses just to get her off to a good start.

In April, I heard, “Dad, can you help me with the song? I need to finish it for the graduation ceremony audition.”

“How far are you?”

It turns out that, although she had been working on it, she hadn’t really made much progress from when we started.

We worked on it but didn’t quite finish it in time so she auditioned by singing Louis Armstrong’s “What a Wonderful World.” Although she wasn’t chosen to sing at the graduation ceremony, she was chosen to perform at “Class Day”.

About two weeks ago, we finally finished “Graduation Dreams”. She performed it for a few of the judges at school and was given permission to replace “What a Wonderful World” with “our” song!

Yesterday morning, my boss gave me permission to come into work late because “Class Day” had finally arrived.

When I got to the school, there were about 200 people in line waiting to get into the gymnasium. That was about what I expected.

Was I surprised when I entered the gym! There were more than 800 parents and over 300 fellow seniors in attendance!

They introduced her and said she was singing a song that she wrote with her father. No…I did not stand up a take a bow!

She did a great job singing and playing the piano! I just wish it wasn’t over a P.A. system!

Although this will by no means do the song justice, here are the lyrics. The (Young daughter) and the (High school teen) are different “voices” (with different music) in the same young woman.

“Graduation Dreams”

(Young daughter)
I’m on my way out, starting on my own…
I’m so excited to be on this road and…
I’m ready for new things to come my way.
Cause I have waited so long…

(High school teen)
Done with waiting, no longer a child.
Same people, same places, same ways, just different shades of brown!
Time to make my way, time to find my new home!
Soft cushions and chains are finally gone!

(Young daughter)
Every day new people, crowd me all around,
Teaching me the ins and outs, how it all breaks down.
Such a cool, hip crowd with so many things to say,
Every day  something new, be it person, place or way.

(High school teen)
Years of waiting were such a waste of time.
Old people, old places, old ways, just weighing me down.
I’m making my own way! I’ve found my new home!
The rush of freedom says I’m all on my own!

(Heart cry)
Time’s passing by so fast, need to find a place to rest,
My heart can’t remember who I used to be…
(musical interlude)

(High school teen)
Reaching for the railing, it was always right here,
(Lost) people, places (and) ways, no longer near,
What happened to the care free girl who knew right from wrong?
So strong, so wise, but look at me now…

(Heart cry)
So tired of running, take me away
I’ve lost all that I hold dear! I gave it all away!

(Young woman)
Woke up this morning, to the warmth of the sun
Here in my own bed, still in my own home…
Same people, same places and ways, how I thank God!
Tears streaming down my face, I’m not all alone!

No longer rushing, don’t want to get away!
Near to my heart is all you said to me…
And I will take you with me when I am gone,
And I will take you with me when I am gone

Really, you have to hear it and we are working on that. Stay tuned!

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She couldn’t wait?

Last night, I got a great idea as I was driving home from work…

“My wife really enjoys going to the movies…Iron Man 2 has been out for a little while…Hey, today is Thursday so the tickets will be cheap!…I’m going to surprise her when I get home!”

As soon as I walked in the door, she asked me if I was hungry. (Is the Pope Catholic?)

She made some great thing with chicken, peppers and onions! Yum!

As soon as I finished, I asked, “Do you want to go see Iron Man 2?” (Is the Pope Catholic?)

“SURE! Wow!”

“Well, it’s been out for a few weeks hasn’t it? If we wait too long, we might miss it?”

So, off we went.

When we got home, as I was making my “go to bed” drink, she came into the kitchen with a sheepish look on her face…

“I have something to confess…I didn’t lie about this…because it never came up…”

“What is it?”

“I didn’t lie about this…it just didn’t come up…”

I thought, “What is this going to be?” I was mentally preparing so that I would be able to under-react (as opposed to overreacting) when she finally confessed.

“What is it?”

“I saw the movie this afternoon with Cakes.”

“What? Why didn’t you tell me? You acted like you were all excited about it.”

“I was. You came home and were so excited about going to the movies. You never want to go to the movies.”

My wife is two timing me! While I am out working hard to make some money to give her as good a life as I am able, she is going to the movies with someone else! Admittedly, that other person is our daughter, but still!

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The dirty little secret is out now!

Wednesday night is Bible study night.

I received a text saying that the meeting was going to be at the McDaniel’s house. About an half hour later, a second text arrived saying that it was being moved to Culver’s on Douglas.

Since we still don’t know everyone’s last name, I texted back that I had not been there and didn’t know the address.

The text came back with the address.

I did a quick Google search…

“Okay, I know where that is.” I zoomed in to get a closer look…

“I don’t understand…Isn’t this a commercial area?”

I zoomed in again…I saw the name Culver’s with a knife and a fork next to it?

Then it dawned on me…

“Oh, Culver’s!…the restaurant!…

How can you have a Bible study at a burger joint?”

It ended up just being fellowship and fun talking, the men with the men and the women with the women.

The men’s conversation eventually came to a comment that the pastor made on Sunday…

“For the sake of my marriage, I have to make an announcement that I forgot to make each of the last two weeks. Our son is getting married on Saturday.”

One of the men said to the group leader, “When, he said ‘for the sake of my marriage’, all I could think about was that blanket.”

???

The group leader nodded and when he saw my obvious ignorance, proceeded to tell me about the “Better Marriage Blanket”, how it is made of special materials that absorb the smells of HER flatulence.

At first, I thought he was kidding me. Then the other man confirmed his story.

It was then that I had one of those rare moments when various disparate, seemingly isolated pieces of information all come together and you see clearly what was formerly mystical, mythical and foggy.

I remembered hearing a famous radio talk show host comment on a special meeting that House Speaker Nancy Pelosi called with the female members of the House of Representatives: “There must have been a whole lot of farting going on in there.”

I couldn’t believe my ears…did he just say that? This is national radio.

Well, now I know that he must have because there is the “Better Marriage Blanket” and my own experience with my…

well, never mind

It is called the “Better Marriage Blanket“. The video shows the man as the culprit but you and I know the REAL truth!

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What was the teacher smoking?

My youngest daughter, Cakes, decided to take choir class this year. Periodically, they will give a concert.

I wrote about the last one here.

But this one was going to be different. This concert was going to include performances of contemporary pieces.

I thought, “Great! This is right in Cake’s wheelhouse.”

This morning, she sent a text informing us that she wouldn’t be performing her “What a Wonderful World” solo.

We decided to go anyway. After all, we have heard quite a few of the students sing in various plays and there are a handful that are really good!

Cakes sang with the group in the big opening number. Then she disappeared…

For the next hour and a half, we watched one bad performance after another. It was like watching a high school talent contest.

You might say, “Well,that’s what it is!”

Yeah, but…

I’ve seen and enjoyed several of the school’s musicals. I know that there are kids with great voices. This was bad!!!

How about the freshman girls choir doing 4 numbers! First, they are freshman. Their voices aren’t fully developed. Than, add in the fact that they stood absolutely motionless while dressed in blue jeans with black t-shirts with almost no lighting!

I was starting to think, “Why did I agree to come to this?”

You are probably thinking, “You’re just bitter because your daughter didn’t get chosen to do a solo.”

O.K. You want evidence, huh…How about this?

New York

A young man strolled on stage wearing a black suit with a fedora. He has been in every play and we like him. He is very animated when he is on stage…delightful to watch. (need to be careful…starting to sound like a theater critic there)

He was going to sing Sinatra’s “New York, New York.” So far, so good!

He sang the first two lines of the song and said, (and I am quoting) “I can’t sing”…(sang the next few words)…oh well…(sang the next few words)…let’s go for it.”

To his credit, he gave it his best effort. I admire him for that. But, it was not good…by a long shot! He, and we, endured a-l-l  t-h-e  w-a-y  t-o  t-h-e  e-n-d  o-f  t-h-a-t  v-e-r-y  l-o-n-g  s-o-n-g!

As I was watching him give it the old high school try, I thought “You have got to be kidding me! He (the choir teacher) didn’t think that Cakes could do better than this?”

Anyway, I left the concert like a pot of chili on the stove top…on a slow simmer.

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Long weekends are overrated!

I’m telling you, this weekend just wouldn’t end…

Yesterday afternoon, I was in Lowe’s trying to pick out the paint that most perfectly matched the color that is currently on the house. Of course I was factoring in the fading caused by the sun…

which is just a SWAG because I have no idea when the house was last painted!

In the midst of my deliberations, I began to get the distinct impression that my face was slowly sliding off of my skull!

My wife must have noticed it too because she immediately started looking for the cause of my disfigurement…

“That’s not me (I guess she was referring back to our l-o-o-o-o-o-o-n-g conversation the previous day). That is going to bed at 11:00 and waking up at 4:00.”

At the moment, I didn’t really care. Even if I did, I couldn’t argue with her…my mouth was somewhere below my chin!

I am sure you can imagine how happy I was when I slid into bed!

…only to have our realtor call at 10:30 P.M.!!!

“I am e-mailing the contract over so you can read over it and sign it.”

????

“Can’t we do this tomorrow?”

“They want a signed offer tonight or else they will start painting tomorrow morning.”

The problem with that is that they were going to paint the house a coffee color. I can’t stand that. It’s not that I hate the color. It’s just that it seems that every other house in the Midwest is painted that color. The only variation is how much cream is in the coffee.

No, we want to keep it yellow…bright, sunshine yellow…happy yellow!

So, we electronically signed our offer at 11:15 P.M.!

I want my mommy!!!

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Why does everybody want to argue with me today?

Yesterday didn’t end after the long talk with my wife. About an hour after we concluded “talking it out”, I began negotiating the purchase of a house through my realtor.

“Well, they are willing to accept your offer. But, they don’t want to put any flooring in.”

“That’s fine. Let’s lower the price accordingly.”

About an hour later, “They won’t lower the price. However, they will give you a $2,000 flooring allowance after closing.”

“What??? The house is close to 2,000 square feet. Are they saying that they can buy carpet for $1/sq ft?”

A half hour later, “No, we realize that the flooring will cost more than that but we think that is a sufficient allowance for you.”

???????????

Anyway, you get the picture. Needless to say, I was not all that eager to wake up this morning.

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She wore me out!

I guess I should just jump right into to the story before you get any strange ideas regarding the title of this post…

I had a tiring day today…

and I didn’t really do anything strenuous!

It all started last night. I watched a movie with my wife and didn’t get to bed until 11:00. That’s not a big deal. Buth then I woke up at 4:00! Why? How should I know? I just did.

At 8:00, I was ready for a nap. That is when my wife woke up and started making breakfast for the two of us.

We sat down to eat and talk. The conversation was moving along just fine and then I made a big mistake…

I don’t even remember what the question was or why I said it, but for some reason the words “Our marriage is O.K.” slipped out of my mouth.

I didn’t say it with a negative tone but she sure took it that way! What I meant and what she heard were two entirely different things!

“What do you mean “O.K.”? (with her face all scrunched up). Our marriage is great!” (Isn’t it usually the guy who says that???)

I reminded her that we got into a pretty bad fight last Sunday morning. It kind of came out of nowhere, like a tornado. Suddenly, everything I did irritated her.

Well, at the time I didn’t feel quite up to being the obedient soldier and saying “Thank you, Bunch! May I have another?” So…

we…

ummm…

had a strong disagreement!

It turned out to the only thing that I did wrong was to be around while she was undergoing a monthly hormonal storm kind of thing…if you know what I mean. I was guilty just because I am a male and happen to be married to her and decided to help her in the kitchen!

We ended up working it out after church and then went and celebrated Mother’s Day with our friends. But, back to today…

“Oh, your going to look at that one day and say that characterizes our whole marriage?”

Huhh???

“I didn’t say that. It just made me realize how vulnerable we are. Both of us have some pretty significant weaknesses. We are REALLY dependent upon God to help us.”

I mean, every time I opened my mouth, the hole just seemed to get deeper.

THREE HOURS LATER (I wish I could figure out a way to write that so you can begin to grasp how long that is!), we actually finished “talking it out” (her words)!

She loved it. And, now she loves me! What a difference a week makes!

The truth is that it really was a very good conversation. If I were a marriage counselor, I would say that we both “communicated in a healthy, meaningful way that enabled us to more completely understand each other. We both grew!”

That’s all great but it’s enough to wear a guy out! And I thought that I was tired at 8:00!

Now, if I can just remember to pull my minesweeper out of the closet so I don’t accidentally step in the wrong place and blow something up again in about two more weeks!

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The mystery woman comes out of hiding

About a month ago, we learned that we finished second in the bidding on a house in foreclosure that we really wanted.

Two weeks ago, we asked our realtor to ask the listing agent to ask the investor if they wanted to sell the house to us the day after escrow closed. To our surprise, they weren’t!

It turns out that they have a very good contractor who works on all of their houses and they needed to keep him busy so that he doesn’t begin working for someone else.

Well, today my realtor finally got the mysterious investor’s contact information and e-mailed it to me.

I called her as soon as I got off work at 5:00.

“Hello?”

“Hello. My name is Lord and I wanted to actually talk to the person who bought my house out from under me!”

She laughed.

I told her that I wasn’t kidding and that we were interested in buying the house from her.

She agreed to meet with us at the house at 6:15!

She came with her husband. He already has an MBA and is now attending law school! No sense trying to be shrewd with him!

I asked them how much they paid for the house. To our great surprise, their final bid was $2,000 lower than ours! The bank preferred their offer because it was all in cash.

Although they have owned the house for less than a week, they have already made great progress. It turns out that they are doing everything that we planned and more!

I told them that I liked what they were doing with the place. There was just one thing that they had done wrong…

If we had won the bid, we would have converted half of the basement into a library/family room. They were turning it into a bedroom AND a family room. In fact, they had already almost finished the rough framing. I asked them to stop.

Why?

Because we wanted to buy the house! We told them what we are willing to pay. They are going to contact us on Saturday to let us know if they can make our offer work.

Stay tuned!!!

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The countdown begins

This is our final go round…

Cakes, our youngest daughter is graduating from high school in a week and a half!

There is a little part of me that panics inside and wonders, “What’s next?”

How should I know? I’ve never been here before. So, I’ll do what I always do…figure it out as I go.

Tonight, we went to the Senior Awards presentation. That is where the seniors receive official presentation of the various awards and scholarships that they have earned.

This might sound a little familiar because we went to the same event last year for my son. However, this one went much smoother.

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