What do you mean you didn’t make no meat?

Posted on 12/11/2009 by RLW3

My wife sent me a text message informing me that she got called in to work and that she had made a meatless pasta dish for dinner.

I texted back a “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” response: “What do you mean you didn’t make no meat?”

“Ha, Ha.”

When I got home, I headed straight for the kitchen. Cakes joined me. I was curious to see what she had made since she doesn’t usually describe her food that way.

I took the lid off of the pot…

whole wheat noodle tubes…

“Wow, I wonder what she did to them?”

Not much. I mean they were good but after 5 or 6 fork fulls, Cakes and I were pretty much in agreement…that was enough.

I said, “This isn’t one of her better meals.”

Cakes agreed.

I thought to myself, “She must have been in a hurry or something?”

When my wife came home, what do you think the FIRST thing that she asked with an excitedly expectant tone in her voice?

“Did you like my pasta?”

I tried my best to do my husbandly duty and lie to her but all I could muster was a weak “Yeeaaah.…”

“Why do you say it like that?”

I hugged her and said, “Meatless pasta? How about meatless and vegetableless?”

“What are you talking about?”

“It was just noodles.”

Her jaw dropped and she headed toward the kitchen with me tagging along behind her. When she got to the stove, she lifted the lid off of another pan that neither I nor daughter had noticed! Inside was a fabulous Italian tomato based sauce full of vegetables!

The fact that I didn’t see it doesn’t really surprise me all that much. But, the fact that Cakes missed it is amazing!

Oh, well…leftovers will be great tomorrow!

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From man to wimp in 10 minutes

Posted on 12/10/2009 by RLW3

We went from VERY cold to WOW cold today!

When I woke up at 5:00 A.M., the temperature was 6º!

When I went out to warm up my car for the morning drive to work at 6:00, it was 2º!

As I was walking out the door, I decided that I should do the manly husband thing and fill my wife’s car and the Super Crew with De-Icer windshield washer fluid. So, I grabbed the keys to both cars, the bottle of fluid and headed out into the frozen tundra.

I didn’t think of wearing gloves…I mean, what’s the difference between 19º and 2º? Besides, I am a man. I don’t need gloves.

I had to pry the Paseo’s door open…literally! Gosh, would it even start?…It did.

Even though I had turned the defroster on full blast, I knew that it wouldn’t make a dent in the inch of snow and ice on the windshield. So, I got to work scraping the ice of the glass.

Man was that loud! I have heard that snow muffles sound.

Well, ice on a windshield magnifies it! Crunch, crunch! I cringed with each stroke.

“I’m going to wake up the entire complex.”

By the time I finished scraping the front windshield and headed over to the other two cars, my hands were beginning to freeze. But, it’s not too bad…

My wife’s car door opened easily. I popped the “Hood Release” button. Great! This is going pretty smoothly…How quickly things can change!

I couldn’t find the hood latch!

I don’t know how long it actually took but it seemed like a very long time. The longer my hands were exposed to the cold, the faster the clock seemed to turn.

“Finally…found it!”

I raised the hood of my car and had a realization…I’ve never looked under the hood of my wife’s car…So I really don’t know where everything is.

I saw a reservoir but it looked too big to be for the windshield washer fluid. I had decided to wear my contacts this morning which means that I can see great…

FROM A DISTANCE! I couldn’t read the text on the lid!!!

That meant that I had to go back upstairs TO GET MY READING GLASSES to figure out where the windshield washer reservoir was!

My fingers felt like they were about four minutes from exploding! And, the clock was ticking…I needed to get to work.

Before I took off, I unlocked the Super Crew and popped its hood. That way I could leave both sets of keys on the counter when I run back upstairs to get my reading glasses.

Before I went back down to the parking lot, I grabbed my gloves!!! (Did you know that they don’t work nearly as well after your hands are already frozen?)

Aha! I was right! That wasn’t the windshield reservoir! It’s over here.

I took off the lid and grabbed the De-Icer fluid…

It has a plastic locking lid! The kind with the plastic tab that needs to be snapped off and then peeled off!

Shoot! It would be really nice to have a knife…or some scissors…

The thought of using my already aching fingers to open that did not exactly warm my heart. Off came the gloves…

“I don’t have to do this!”

I decided to just plunge in. It didn’t hurt nearly as bad as I imagined!…

BECAUSE I COULDN’T FEEL ANTHING!

Because it had been sitting in an outdoor 2º freezer for 10 minutes, the tab broke off before I could perform the peel operation.

By now, the pain in my hands was seriously challenging my masculity!

An argument broke out in my head…

The icy cold whispered “You don’t HAVE to do this!”…”But, but, but, I’m the man…”

I had to decide quickly, before I morphed into a block of ice…

“That lid is coming off!”

I just started cranking on it.

“It broke free! Great! I’ll be done in a minute or two…”

As I took the lid off, my next obstacle appeared…

a  foil seal across the lid of the container!

Let me get my key…

It’s warming up the Toyota…

and I just took the other two sets of keys upstairs! I didn’t have ANYTHING sharp at my disposal! Nothing!

The argument in my head resumed…

“I DON’T HAVE TO DO THIS!”…”What? You’re going to make your wife and daughter do it?”

I took my swollen, frozen digit and started ramming them against the foil…once…twice…three times…

On the fourth time, I broke through. My face was starting to hurt.

I poured the windshield washer fluid into my wife’s car. The reservoir was nearly full before I started pouring! *&#$^%*#$)!

“Fine…I’ll do the truck…”

It too was full!  *&#$^%*#$)!!!!

I closed everything up, slammed the hoods shut, put the lid back on the container, picked up my gloves and ran for the Toyota.

Shoot! The rear window is still covered in ice. I guess the defogger wasn’t designed to melt quarter inch thick ice.

Back to waking everybody up…

At this point, I didn’t really care. In fact, I was almost muttering, “I don’t care if I do wake everyone else up. My rent is paid. It’s not my fault that I have to go to work earlier than them.”

I worked as fast as I could, hoping that that my exertion of energy could do something to combat the numbing cold.

When I got into the car to drive to work, I was moaning in pain! I mean out loud! My hands hurt for the next 10-15 minutes.

In the gender wars, women like to point out how good men have it, how lucky they are…

Really?

All I can say is don’t let anyone kid you, there is a BIG difference between 19º and 2º!

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There is a difference between ‘brisk’ and ‘cold’

Posted on 12/09/2009 by RLW3

Before my oldest daughter drove up from Dallas, she called to ask me what the weather was like.

“It’s pretty brisk.”

“Does that mean its about 55º?”

“55?! That’s not brisk. That’s nice.”

“So what does brisk mean?”

I thought it was in the 40’s but I decided to check.

“It’s 37º.”

“Thirty seven! O.K. Thank you very much! I am glad I asked.”

When I saw that it was 28º in Dallas, I texted her,

“I would call it cold today. Would you agree?”

She had to.

It is very cold here in Overland Park…16º!

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Preparing for the worst

Posted on 12/07/2009 by RLW3

I did something that I have never done before…

I bought survival food!

In 1994, I lived in Northridge, CA. I was at the epicenter of the Northridge earthquake. But, since there was no advanced warning, I had not made any special preparations.

When the quake struck, I was pretty much on my own. As bad as that was, I could still drive a half hour further and get everything I needed

I never bought into  the Y2000 computer “crisis”. However, there were enough of my friends and peers that were completely convinced that we were heading into a national emergency that I thought I should at least prepare a little in case I was wrong. So, we bought a few extra cans of food, about 15 gallons of water and put them in the garage.

The new millenium started with no fireworks at all.

So, why am I buying survival food now?

In my view, we have elected a bunch of madmen to decide our national fate. It appears that our current political leaders are determined to drive our nation into bankruptcy. As a nation, our credit cards are all maxed out and they keep on spending.

The Federal Reserve responds by creating “money” out of thin air. The U.S. dollar drops in value nearly every day. What if it becomes worthless?It has happened before.

In addition to Congress’s spending, they insist on passing bills that will completely transform America as we know it: Cap and Trade, Health Care reform, Climate Change will all dramatically raise costs on business and individuals. If they are enacted, it will be tougher to do business in the U.S. That means that the recession might get worse. What will I do if I lose my job?

40% of the world’s oil flows through the Straights of Hormuz. What if Iran continues on its crazy path and mines that narrow gateway? What would happen to oil prices? Would it interrupt the delivery of food to our grocery stores?

What if China decides to stop buying our debt?

I don’t know the answers to any of these questions. I just decided that it is better to prepare this time.

My wife wasn’t wild about the idea either. So I told her that if none of the various terrible scenarios actually occurs, we can look at it like money spent on a life insurance policy.

Thank God we didn’t need it.

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I shudder to think…

Posted on 12/06/2009 by RLW3

For the second time this week, I was awakened by the sound of my wife talking on the phone. This time, I got out of bed because I detected a little concern in her voice.

I opened our bedroom door and squinted out into the living room and mouthed the words, “Is everything all right?”

She responded by a hand signal, “Yes and no.”

Our son called her at 11:00 our time. That means that it was midnight in Philadelphia.

Why did he call?

To tell her that he was skateboarding through the city while the snow was falling!

It actually sounded like fun…if you can ride a skateboard!

After a few minutes of listening in on the call, I learned that his roommate had a girl in their dorm room the previous night. My son, innocently choosing to believe the best, thought that they were going to sleep. However, when the lights went out, and they started moving, Big A turned the lights on, told them that he was going outside and that she had to be out of the room by the time he came back!

I have two thoughts on this…

First…

My heart breaks for the state of our young people. They are unknowingly digging themselves a deep moral and emotional hole right at the beginning of their life. I know this from personal experience because, at the same stage of life, I lived much more like my son’s roommate than like my son.

There was a time when our culture considered such behavior shameful. But, we left behind that cultural standard of dignity quite awhile ago. Drunkenness and promiscuity are now considered normal. Those who choose to wait until marriage are now the odd ones on campus.

Second…

It is a commendable to walk in moral freedom by choosing to avoid situations or environments that are likely to produce temptation. I live that way. I have been faithful to my wife for 23 years. I have thus far never been in any tenuous situations with another woman.

That might be due to the fact that I am not all that attractive and don’t have much money. I’m not exactly a catch.

But, I also lead a pretty mundane life. There is not much opportunity to meet an “exotic” woman if life consists of work, church and home.

I like it that way. I don’t want to see how I would fair if such an “opportunity” were to arise. Like I told my son a few years ago, “If there is another woman who finds me attractive, I don’t ever want to know about it. Leave me in my ignorance.”

My reasoning is pretty simple. How many men fall into adultery and ruin their families? How many of them planned to do that on the day that they got married? Am I so very different from them? Am I foolish enough to assume that I am stronger than them?

No. I assume that I am pretty much like the next guy. If they can fall, I can fall. Perhaps, even faster and easier than they did. So I just avoid the temptation completely. You can call me weak if you want to…

However, it is quite another thing to walk in moral freedom when the school requires that you spend the first year living in a cauldron of corruption called a co-ed dorm.

My son’s virtue is not the weak product of overprotective parents and convenient circumstances that wilts when it finally encounters temptation. His virtue is born out of an internal conviction. That conviction is being tested and proven under the exacting, disbelieving and sometimes mocking gaze of his peers.

He is definitely a far better man than I was at the same age. In fact, his conviction to moral purity challenges me even now. In this area, he is proving to all that he is a man.

I am proud of him!

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While I was on the phone!

Posted on 12/04/2009 by RLW3

It is getting cold here in KC. I told you that we have already had our first small snowfall.

The cold changes my morning routine.

Instead of warming the car up for minute, I have to wait for several.

Oh, shoot…there’s ice on the windshield.

I found the scraper and got to work. By the time I finished, the engine was warm.

I hopped in and started to take off.

It turns out that my scraping job didn’t look quite as thorough from the inside as it did from the outside. Perhaps the fact that it is freezing cold outside affected my objectivity.

Anyway, no problem…I’ll just spray some De-Icer windshield washer fluid…

That’s right…

I can’t…The windshield washer button is broken.

I knew that when I bought the car. However, it was really not that big of an inconvenience. Now that it is cold enough to freeze the rain, it has morphed into a major problem.

I spent my lunch trying to track down the needed part. Toyota wants $163! Not on a car that I paid $1,100 for!

I found a local auto salvage yard that had the part for $65.

“Great! I’ll take it.”

Before he could enter the information on the computer, it disappeared!

“What do you mean it’s gone?”

“I hit the button and it is no longer there. Someone must have bought it.”

“While I am on the phone?”

“I guess so.”

I didn’t realize that a wiper stick on a 1992 Toyota Paseo was such a hot item!

It worked out in the end. I found another one for $15.

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Turn a little this way

Posted on 12/03/2009 by RLW3

Ah, the challenges of being a father…

I really don’t know what this season of life is supposed to look like. My two oldest daughters have been on their own for the past few years. My son is attending college in Philadelphia and my youngest will graduate from high school in 6 months.

How involved am I “supposed” to be? If they don’t live in my house, does that mean that they are on their own? How far does the phrase “they are on their own” go? Does it mean that I am no longer to be involved in their lives?

I can’t really look to our culture for help…

I can’t really look back to my own past for help…

10 days after graduating from high school at the ripe old age of 17, I boarded my first airplane and moved from New Jersey to Los Angeles. I didn’t want any input from my parents. For four years, I did what I wanted!

I have lived with the consequences ever since…

Those four years damaged my soul, distorted my personality and twisted my sexuality.

Fortunately for me, there was a God in heaven who had mercy on me. I was dramatically and definitely converted at the age of 21.

The man who led me to Christ was my pastor for the next 20 years. He taught me how to be a Christian, how to be a man, how to be a husband and how to be a father. Unfortunately, he could only go so far…

There is a place where the teaching ends and the learning that only comes through practical application begins. Although he set a good example and taught me well, I had to learn to be a husband to MY wife. I had to learn to be a father to MY children.

I am still learning…

With each of my children, there are “issues” that are arising that need to be addressed. When I pray for them, I begin to see or sense things.

I have been through this enough to realize that when I see or sense things, THE Father is calling me to take off my “Dad” hat and put on my “Father” hat. I know from experience that putting on my “Father” hat will make both my children and I a little uncomfortable.

However, what else am I to do with the warnings, cautions or recommendations that arise in my heart for each of them? Who else is watching out for them? Who else cares for them? Who else is looking down the road for them? Who else knows them as well?

I feel like an old sea captain. Each of my children is just getting into their own ship. The whole ocean is before them! They are setting out to find their own buried treasure! I remember it well.

They know that there are huge rocks hidden beneath the water’s surface that can do great damage. I have told them before. However, they are sure they can make it through! If it were just them, the ocean and the rocks, I would be sure too.

However, the ever shifting and increasingly violent winds of culture suddenly stir up waves that threaten to dash their ships against those rocks before they know it.

I recognize the winds. I see the squalls developing. I know the way through those rocks. So, I have to climb to the deck and offer my young captains words that they initially might not want to hear.

There is a little apprehension. How will they react? Will they receive it?

Only God knows…

and He is not tellin’!

While I may not know how they will react or what the results will be, I do know that I will not be able to live with myself if I shrink bank. Cowardice is a disease that eats away at a man’s soul.

So, I climb up to the deck, pick up the phone and gently join my hand with theirs on the rudder of their ship and head straight into the storm. I trust that the Great Navigator will bring us through safely.

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She has bent over backward long enough

Posted on 12/02/2009 by RLW3

We have a little confrontation developing here at the Castle…

Ever since we returned from vacation, my wife’s manager at Costco has significantly changed her schedule.

Before we left, she might work one night per week. Now she is gone a minimum of three nights. This week I will not see her for the next four nights.

My wife continually responds when her manager calls and asks her if she can fill in for people who didn’t show up that day. In fact, she has communicated that the ONLY day she is unavailable for work is Sunday.

Her manager insists on scheduling her to work on Sunday!

It has been, “I need you this week” or “Work with me”.

Well, we are done “working with her”. We are done “helping her out”. We have decided to take a stand. She is not working any more Sundays!

If that means that she has to leave the job, so be it. God gave her this job. God can give her another one! Costco, and this manager in particular, are not our god!

After all, isn’t that what honoring the Lord’s Day/Sabbath is all about in the first place? Isn’t it a physical demonstration of our belief that our prosperity and success depends on His providence and not just our hard work?

She is supposed to talk to the store manager today. We’ll see what happens…

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Call 911

Posted on 11/30/2009 by RLW3

I was listening to a radio show today and heard Marcus Lutrell, a Navy seal, say this:

“When you look in the mirror, bottom line is you are one of two people. You either call 911 or you are 911.”

I have never heard that view of life but it’s a good one.

I want to be 911. I live that way and I am always preparing.

Posted in Masculinity | Tagged | 1 Comment

Coming to grips with reality

Posted on 11/29/2009 by RLW3

Bean, our oldest daughter headed home for Dallas early this morning.

I know I have said this before but…

I felt a little sad.

It is back to being just me, my wife, Bunch, and my youngest daughter, Cakes.

As I analyzed my feelings, I realized that I don’t want to change anything.

She has her own life. She has her own friends. My wife and I worked hard to train her for this very season of life. I am REALLY happy for her.

I think that if she still lived with us, our relationship would be different. I think that we might grow tired of each other.

While I really enjoy my children’s company and conversation, I realize that they are where they should be.

Big A is supposed to be in Philadelphia. Kimba is thriving in Nashville. Soon, Cakes will join them and it will just be my wife and I, where it all began.

So, here I find a paradox. As a father, I am a happy, fulfilled. My children are successfully starting to make their own mark on the world.

And yet, in their launching and leaving, I feel a little sad.

I am glad that I feel that way.

I would rather know the pain of separation than to feel nothing at all.

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