Captain Jack Sparrow, meet the Lord of the Castle

Posted on 11/17/2009 by RLW3

You would think that a mirror is a mirror. They reflect the image in front of them.

You would think by their construction (a piece of glass placed on top of a shiny reflective surface) that they should be the same. But, people don’t always think so.

Women are constantly complaining that some mirrors make them look fat. My youngest daughter, Cakes, told me that her voice teacher has the most unflattering mirror that she has ever peered into.

I’ve never really bought into that idea before. A mirror is a mirror!

I must admit, though, that there was a time when I too thought that my bathroom mirror made me look fat. It just happened to coincide with the fact that I was actually quite a bit overweight! So, maybe those women might want to reevaluate just exactly what is making them “look fat”.

But tonight I ran into a type of mirror that I have never even heard about before…

I looked into one that makes me look older!

Yiiiikes!

I don’t know how that works but I know it is true!

My hair is strawberry blond. Every now and then, one of my children will tease me that my hair is turning gray.

When I challenge the ludicrousity  (cool word, huh! just made that up!) of their assertion, they protest and get real close to my head to yank out a piece of the confirming evidence. Inevitably, the “gray hair” magically disappears!

When I look in the bathroom mirror in the morning, I don’t see any gray hair. Of course, now that I think about it, I usually use the mirror to comb my hair right after I get out of the shower. So, my hair is still wet. I think that favors the colored hair over any gray hair…

However, on my way home after work, I stopped by Costco to see my wife. While there, I had to use the restroom. While washing my hands, I made the mistake of looking into the mirror.

I am telling you that mirror had to be made by the same company that did the special effects for the movie “Pirates of the Caribbean”. It made me look like one of Captain Jack Sparrows henchmen in the moonlight!

I didn’t see a little gray hair…I saw lots of it!

And I don’t even think that it looked gray! White would be more accurate!

I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. Truthfully, it startled me!

I ran out of the bathroom screaming at the top of my lungs!

Not really, but…

When I got home, I looked into my bathroom mirror…

It is so much friendlier…

And it is familiar with my reflection…

Yep! I look pretty much like I did this morning. Everything is back to normal!

Whew! That was close!

I just need to make sure I stay out of the moonlight from now on!

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Turn the Caps Lock button off

Posted on 11/16/2009 by RLW3

It looks like Big A has shrunk a little…

He’s now medium A…

or perhaps even small a…

He ended his high school wrestling career with a flourish, losing in the state finals to one of the top 10 wrestlers in the nation.

This weekend, he wrestled his first two matches in college…

and lost!

The first match was close. He lost to a 3 time NY state champ by a score of 4-2. And “little a” had a takedown but was ruled out of bounds.

He lost his second match by a score of 6-0.

I talked with him on the phone and I have to tell you that I like his attitude!

He wasn’t discouraged and he wasn’t closing his eyes to the obvious. He knows exactly what he needs to improve on and still thinks that he is on schedule to compete for a starting position next year as a red-shirt freshman. It reminds me of how he was in high school. He could see the progress that he WOULD make before anyone else could and then he went out and did it!

I think this is going to be fun watching this letter grow!

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I think we found our new home

Posted on 11/15/2009 by RLW3

It’s over!

The search is over!

At least, I think it is over.

After 20 months and 13 churches, I think we finally found our church home!

I say I think because my wife still has a few small reservations. She likes the worship and the preaching…

And, we have inquired as to what it actually takes to join the church…but I like it a whole bunch!

I never, and I mean never, thought that we would end up in a Pentecostal church!

Well see.

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How quickly things can change

Posted on 11/14/2009 by RLW3

As planned, I drove to Wichita today to pick up a transmission for the Nissan.

I don’t really mind these long drives. I get time to think, listen to my favorite preachers on CD, etc.

About 30 minutes from my destination, memories started to flood through my mind. I realized that the last time that I was in this city was March 1st. That is our anniversary.

No…I did not take my wife to beautiful, downtown Wichita, KS to celebrate our anniversary!

Our family was witnessing/celebrating my son’s big achievement.

As I drove through the area, I was just struck by how quickly the trajectory of his life changed.

At this time last year, he was just starting his second full season of wrestling. His coach wasn’t expecting much. In fact, the year did not really begin all that great.

Lest you think that this is a bunch of nostalgic drivel from a doting old man, this time last year, my son set up an appointment and met with a recruiter for the U.S. Army!

Now, he is matriculating at the sixth ranked school in the country for undergraduate entrepreneurial majors. Tomorrow, he wrestles in his first Division 1 college tournament! Absolutely amazing!

One year ago today, after eight months in Kansas, I received an offer from my current employer!

What a difference a year can make!

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He must have found some oil

Posted on 11/12/2009 by RLW3

My co-worker, The Steel Trap, has completely redeemed himself. In fact, I think I owe him!

Whenever I am trying to find a good mechanic in the area, he is the first person I talk to. He knows everyone in town and has known them since they were little kids.

Back in July, he was the one who referred me to the guys who rebuilt my Super Crew’s differential in one day!

I asked him if he knew anyone who could help me with the Nissan’s transmission. He didn’t.

However, a few hours later, he hung up the phone and asked me if I was interested in a 1992 Toyota Paseo with a 170,000 miles on it that gets close to 40 MPG…

“Sure, I guess. What does it look like?”

He pulled up a stock picture on the Internet…

It’s a pretty nice looking car!

Well, today, I am now the proud owner of a little, red Japanese built roller skate that looks something like this!

images.html.jpg

I think understand the Steel Trap better. He’s just slow. I asked him if he knew of any low priced good MPG cars back in January. In November, he finally answered me!

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You learn something new every day

Posted on 11/10/2009 by RLW3

On Sunday, I realized that I forgot to leave the key when I parked the car at my mechanic’s place. So, I drove out there again. Since he couldn’t move the car, it was still outside so I put the key under the front floor mat,

I anticipated his call regarding the details of the Nissan’s problems all day long on Monday. He didn’t call.

As I went to bed, I just assumed that he probably had not looked at it.

Then in the wee hours this morning, I realized that he was probably waiting for me! I never told him that I dropped the key off on Sunday. Duuuuh!

I called him as early as I thought appropriate. It turns out that he HAD looked at it.

You learn something new every day. Most of the time, it is a good thing. Today, I learned that, in addition to losing overdrive and first gears, I also no longer have a reverse gear! The transmission is shot.

I began trying to find a trustworthy transmission shop to see how much it would cost. (It seems like I have had to do this quite a bit since I have been here in Kansas City!). The consensus is $2,500!

I don’t think so! That’s about all the car is worth.

I decided to try to find a used transmission that my mechanic could install. After several calls, I found one for only $550!

The catch is that it is in Wichita, KS. Wichita, KS is 3 hours away.

Guess what I will be doing Saturday morning?

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No shave November

Posted on 11/09/2009 by RLW3

My youngest daughter came home from school and provided me with some pop culture enlightenment

“Did you know that it is “No Shave November?”

“No, I didn’t. What does that mean.”

“All of the guys at school don’t shave during the month of November.

“Oh.”

“Did you have that when you were young.”

“No.”

“Even though I have already had no shave September and October, I am going to do it with them!”

She then gave me a personal update on what she calls her “winter coat”.

All I could do was laugh out loud. It’s not really man hair but it is still VERY impressive! Definitely not suitable for public viewing!

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Not quite what I planned

Posted on 11/08/2009 by RLW3

I had a interesting afternoon.

I drove 15 minutes to meet someone only to discover that they weren’t there! And I called them earlier in the day to confirm our appointment!

I then waited for 45 minutes hoping that they would show up. They didn’t.

On the way home, I tried to think peaceful, philosophical thoughts when something big broke in my daughter’s Nissan Maxima. Fortunately, I was only 3 miles from home.

I called my mechanic and communicated my predicament while I was sitting at the signal light at the bottom of the freeway off ramp that leads to our apartment.

“I was driving on the freeway when the car started slowing down and then something broke.”

“How do you know?”

“I heard a loud bang. Then the car then drove normal again except I no longer have the overdrive gear.”

“Is there anything else wrong?”

“No.”

“How far are you from home?”

“About a mile.”

“Good. Whatever you do, don’t let the car stop.”

“I’m sitting at a light right now.”

Just then the light changed and I tried to take off.

“Well, evidently I don’t have first gear either. Why did you say, ‘Don’t let it stop’?”

“Well, you might not be able to get it started again.”

This is not how I planned to spend my afternoon!

I got right back on the freeway and drove straight to his place. Fortunately, I made it all the way there driving in 3rd gear.

This was so unexpected. The car had been running so smoothly the last few days.

Stay tuned!

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And it matches my cape!

Posted on 11/07/2009 by RLW3

A few weeks ago, I wrote about one of my alter ego’s (Superdad) recent adventures.

The plot ran something like this…

Long lost daughter is miraculously found!

Joy abounds!

Big corporation threatens to bankrupt the family if she attempts to renew her relationships with the members of her family! You can read about it here.

I put my cape on and came to the rescue!

Long lost daughter saved money! Parents saved money! And everyone can talk as long as they want to!

There are rewards to being a superhero…besides the satisfaction of saving the day.

I had four lines on my account with AT&T. Three of them are off contract. The two year contract for Cake’s line will expire this month.

I like this. I want to keep it that way. Why?

If some incredible new company arises or there is some fantastic breakthrough in technology or a dramatic decrease in pricing, I want to be able to move quickly. I don’t want to be tied down.

That is why I haven’t bought an IPhone. AT&T would be happy to sell me any new phone, at a very reduced price, of course, but I would have to agree to a new 2 year contract.

No, thanks!

When I added Kimba to our plan, I had to agree to a 2 year contract for that new line. Try as I might, there was no way out of it.

Hmmm…

That’s two years worth of lemons there. I decided to turn them into lemonade today…

I bought an IPhone!…

at the very reduced price, of course! It is nice!

I am, once again, on the cutting edge. I have rejoined the technological elite. I am part of the in crowd. I am actually beginning to feel a little ‘hip’!

Yes, there are some nice side benefits to being a superhero!

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Beef…it’s what’s for dinner

Posted on 11/06/2009 by RLW3

I finally did it!

Something that I have been wanting to do for over two decades!!!

I hinted at it last weekend…

Some time in the early 90’s (that sounds SO long ago. When I was younger, that phrase meant the 1890’s!), someone told me that they had bought a side of beef.

“What’s a side of beef?”

“Half of a cow.”

“What do you mean you bought ‘half of a cow’?”

“I bought one half of a cow from the butcher.”

“Why did you do that?”

“To save money.”

“How much did it cost?”

They then said some number that could never be interpreted in my mind as “saving money”. In fact, it seemed like spending a bunch of money!

“That’s a lot of money!”

“Not if you consider what you get for that.”

He then detailed how many pounds of top quality ground beef they got…

and how many pounds of roast…

and how many pounds of steak…

and all of the different cuts of steak…

He concluded by saying, “So, I got all of that for (some number that was about the price of extra lean ground beef) per pound.”

I was enthralled with the thought of eating all those pounds of all those different types of steak for such a cheap price! After I put my tongue back in my mouth and wipe the slobber off of my chin, all I could say was “Wow!”

I immediately wanted to do the same.

So, I bought a used upright freezer since we didn’t have room in our garage for a chest freezer.

That particular year, the supermarkets in our area were having amazing specials on Thanksgiving turkeys. We ended up putting five of those suckers in that freezer!

After we had eaten two or three of the turkeys, a guy shot an antelope and a deer and gave us the meat.

After we had pretty much eaten all of the venison (deer meat) and turkey, I went to the butcher to inquire about buying “a side of beef”. Say that out loud. “A side of beef.” It just sounds good!

When he told me the price, I nearly fell over.

Per pound, it was still a great deal, just like my friend had said. However, no matter what kind of a deal you are getting per pound, when you multiply that number by three of four hundred, it starts getting up there pretty quickly. My salary just wasn’t large enough to take that much money and put it in the freezer!

So I waited…

and waited…

and waited…

When we sold our home and moved to Kansas City, we gave away the freezer. I was glad to give it to someone but it highlighted that I never did buy that “side of beef”. (Man, those are great words!)

Recently, I have become concerned about the policies that our government is putting in place; specifically, about the likelihood very high inflation. If inflation hits, then everything will get more expensive…even food.

I reasoned, “If I could just figure out a way to lock in my food prices at current levels…

Hmmm…Hey, I could get a freezer…”

I went to inquire at the butchers about meat prices to see if this idea was worth pursuing. I then called my wife and asked, “Honey, how much does beef cost?”

“I don’t know.”

I was thinking, “Your a woman. You cook our food. You work at Costco. How can you not know?”

“What do you mean you don’t know?”

“I don’t buy it.”

“Why not?”

“It’s too expensive. Steak is something like $8 a pound”

I thought, “Thank God I married this girl!”

“What about ground beef?”

“I don’t know.”

I have to admit that I didn’t even notice that we hardly ever ate beef. Her cooking tastes so good night after night that I don’t even care!

Even if I had noticed, I knew that it DEFINITELY wasn’t because either my wife or I believe that beef is bad. We like beef. Beef be good! However, I never would have thought that we weren’t buying it because it was too expensive!

I guess it is a good thing that I haven’t noticed…

This new information caused my self esteem to elevate a few notches. My idea was getting better by the minute. I could lock in some of my food prices before inflation hits AND we could start eating steak again AND it would be at the price of extra lean ground beef!

I tell you, if I were any smarter…

Then I remembered that I had wanted to do this OVER 20 years ago! And I remembered that I had to wait…and wait…and wait.

Guess what?

I ain’t waitin’ no mo!

I bought a split side of beef. That is a half of a half. Written numerically, that would be (1/2 x 1/2) which is equal to 1/4.

We gonna be eatin’ steak for $2.50 per pound!

Oh yeah! Beef, its what’s for dinner!

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