Young people!

Posted on 01/07/2009 by RLW3

Ever time I have seen my son wrestle has been in a tournament. Tonight, I watched him wrestle in a dual meet for the first time. A dual meet is one school vs. another. 

He won his match but he didn’t wrestle all that well. It is obvious that he has improved since the last time that I saw him before Christmas. However, he was huffing and puffing.

After the meet, I asked him why HE thought he was so weak. I had expressed my opinion in the form of a prediction three days before the match so I kept quiet.

It was interesting to watch what happened next. He actually tried to answer me without opening his mouth. Wounded ego can have that effect.

“I guess it was from cutting weight.”

It was as if his lips were stuck together, not unlike when Agent Smith is beginning to interrogate Mr. Andersen (Neo) in the movie “The Matrix”.

Why don’t young people listen to older people??? They think that we are stupid! But we’re not! We were…

back when we were young people.

And then we got older and realized that we were stupid and so we became wiser and now we are trying to help you. But they are still young! And therefore, they are still…well…you know…

“Sooooo liiisssstennnn to meeeee! I am trying to help yoouuuu!!!”

Why am I on this little rant? Thank you for asking.

My son has decided that he has to rediscover all of the dietary laws for himself. What do I mean by that?

For several days after Christmas, he stuffed himself on everyone’s favorite health food…potato chips! (If you haven’t read the post about God, Satan and food, please do. It is hilarious. Potato chips show up in the eighth paragraph.)

Then, after his first post-Christmas practice, came home and announced that saturated fats really hinder your performance!

“You’re kidding me! Did you discover that ALL by yourself? WOW! Son, thanks for telling me.”

So, his latest dietary hypothesis has been that he wrestles better when he gorges on food between matches and then radically cuts weight a few days before. And I have to give him credit, he has proven that he can lose weight quickly and very predictably. In fact, he lost 10 pounds in two days before tonight’s match…

and he was weak.

So, his theory has been disproven. He has REDISCOVERED what his mother and I have already known and have been trying to tell him. But, alas, he had to discover it for himself.

I think I agree with the grumpy old man on the porch in It’s a Wonderful Life who said, \”Aw, youth is wasted on the wrong people!\”

Posted in Parenting | Tagged , | 1 Comment

Definitely not that!

Posted on 01/06/2009 by RLW3

My first day of work went without a major event. It seems like it is going to be very much like what I have done for the last 11 years except a little less hectic.

I have to work on my attitude a little. While I am sincerely grateful for the job, I am very clear in my mind that this is not what I want to do for the rest of my life!

While sitting through various training sessions, I couldn’t help thinking how much I would rather be doing church work. I have decided to send in my Bible school application this week!

Posted in Work | Tagged , | Comments Off on Definitely not that!

Her prayers were answered!

Posted on 01/05/2009 by RLW3

The hullabaloo had a happy ending!…but not without a little twist.

This morning we received “official” notification from the high school that the Great Books tutorials will be “acceptable” to the school district. I put those words in quotations because my youngest daughter’s school adviser sincerely encouraged her while confiding that she has not read all of those books herself! The first hurdle was cleared.

However, if you remember from my last post on this topic, the instructor for the tutorial would not accept my daughter until he had determined that her writing was up to his standards. Over the Christmas break, we sent him four papers that Cakes wrote last semester and still had not heard from him.

My oldest daughter helped me track down his phone number and I called him. To make a long story short, he said that he would accept her. However, if she enrolled in his Great Books class, she would also have to take his Euclidean Geometry class. Practically, that would mean that our cost would double and she would be taking TWO Geometry classes: one with the tutorial and another at the high school!

None of this was a surprise. We’ve known that this condition existed. That was one of the reasons that we were hoping to gain admission to another instructor’s Great Books program. Mr. Callihan, has a great reputation as an engaging teacher. His program is one year shorter and he doesn’t require concurrent enrollment in Geometry.

I had called him before the Christmas break and received no response. I called again this morning and again this evening with no response. Not thirty minutes AFTER agreeing to enroll in the first tutor’s class, Mr. Callihan called and said that he had room in his class! When I told my daughter, she SQUEALED with delight.

I then had the thankless duty of calling the first tutor back and informing him that after he had read my daughter’s papers and after he had spent nearly twenty minutes on the phone with me and after he had already sent two “Welcome to GBT” e-mails to my daughter, I had changed my mind and decided to enroll with the other tutor!

Ahhh! There is nothing quite like the smell of freshly ground ego!

Posted in Children, Goals | Tagged | Comments Off on Her prayers were answered!

The history of man from a different angle

Posted on 01/03/2009 by RLW3

I received a PowerPoint slide show in an e-mail from my father-in-law recently. It is just too funny, especially in light of some of my recent posts. If anyone knows who wrote this, I will be glad to give them credit. Here is the text:

In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

Then using God’s great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry’s Ice Cream and Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan said, “You want chocolate with that?” And Man said, “Yes!” and Woman said, “and as long as you’re at it, add some sprinkles.” And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.

And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 6 to size 14.

So God said, “Try my fresh green salad.” And Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

God then said, “I have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them.” And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.

God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it “Angel Food Cake,” and said, “It is good.” Satan then created chocolate cake and named it “Devil’s Food.”

God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue light and gained pounds.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them. And Man gained pounds.

God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald’s and its 99-cent double cheeseburger. Then said, “You want fries with that?” And Man replied, “Yes! And super size them!” And Satan said, “It is good.” And Man went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.

Then Satan created HMOs.

You can download the PowerPoint presentation creation-a-different-view.

Posted in Humor | Comments Off on The history of man from a different angle

Out with the old

Posted on 01/02/2009 by RLW3

Since I start my new job in three days, I am pressing the family hard to get our house in order. We finished taking the Christmas decorations down today and hauled the tree off to a recycling place.

The neighbors below us just finished moving in this week. They were walking by just as I threw the Christmas tree down from our second story balcony. (I might be a redneck if…) When they walked by the Wild Bill, I am sure that they were wondering if we were moving out! We filled up an entire pickup truck bed with boxes and plastic tubs.

Anyway, we are much closer to being ready for real life. I say that from a strictly chauvinistic, patriarchal viewpoint. Real life obviously begins when I have a job!

Posted in Uncategorized | Comments Off on Out with the old

And they’re off…

Posted on 01/01/2009 by RLW3

I started the new year off early this year by taking my youngest daughter’s friend to the airport at 4:15 A.M.!

Because of this, my wife and I were in bed well before midnight on New Year’s eve. Somehow, the thought of staying up late to watch the clock tick isn’t quite as thrilling as it once was.

To be truthful, I never really got it. I mean, the typical New Year’s celebration is so counter productive.

Like most of the population. each year I would resolve to make big personal changes in the coming year. Most of these changes involve being more disciplined. By that, I mean getting up early, beginning an exercise program and losing weight.

And so what would I do on the very first day?

Stay up into the wee hours of the morning, sleep in later than normal and then spend the first day of the year eating more delicious foods and snacks than I should. I made the resolution because I needed to change and then the first thing that I would do is make the problems even worse!

Is it any wonder why most New Years resolutions are abandoned by February?

Anyway, Happy New Year! I think that the whole world is in for some interesting times.

Posted in Goals, Personal | 1 Comment

He’s finally legal

Posted on 12/30/2008 by RLW3

There were several delays before he got his day in court. He had to be rejected by the people of California. Then he had to suffer the same hardship in Kansas and Missouri.

But finally, by a four to three decision, Wild Bill was released from his California prison. There was a judge representing each state (CA, AZ, NM, OK, TX, KS, MO) that he has traveled since the day he left his regular domicile. An Arizona judge cast the deciding vote. He’s been on the lam for 8 weeks.

What in the world am I talking about? I finally registered my old F150 (Wild Bill) in Kansas. His CA registration expired at the end of October. I tried to sell him but no one wanted him. Maybe I should have advertised that he starts right up even in the cold. Shoot, I tried to sell him back in Los Angeles where it doesn’t get cold and no one wanted him.

So, I decided that he could stay on with me for awhile longer until his luck changes and he finds work somewhere else. Perhaps the Big Cowboy in the sky has a few more adventures up His sleeve!

The story about the trial is a mnemonic (right click and look it up) device to help me remember the new license plate: 423 AZJ.

Posted in Cars | Tagged | Comments Off on He’s finally legal

I’ve decided to wear it

Posted on 12/29/2008 by RLW3

I am in a little predicament.

I had surgery on my gums today.

Anytime that I go to the dentist, it is serious. An hour in the ‘chair’ is not my idea of a fun afternoon.

However, I realized that the dentist also thought it was serious this time. Several times during the surgery, he stopped and asked me if I was all right. All I could say was “Uh, huh” since my mouth was locked in the fully open position. I must not have been very convincing because each time, he asked me if I was sure to which I replied, “Uh, huh.”

As if an hour and forty minutes cutting and grinding and scraping and drilling and needling wasn’t enough, the dentist decided to pull a tooth while he was in there!

Needless to say, I didn’t feel much like smiling when I went to Costco to get the prescription for the pain pills filled. Even if I did, I couldn’t. None of the muscles in my face work.

The pharmacist instructed me to eat something before I take the pain pill. When I informed her that it feels like Jackie Chan just had a sword fight with Jet Li in my mouth, she advised me to drink some milk. That sounded good to me.

When I got home and poured some milk into a glass, I realized that I had a problem: my face, mouth and tongue are all COMPLETELY numb. Guess what happens when you try to drink something in that condition? Right! You end up wearing it!

So, do I ‘spill the milk’ or crawl into the fetal position and howl at the moon when the anesthesia wears off? Either way, I am going to look like a two year old!

I have decided to get in touch with my inner slob.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged | 1 Comment

It leaves when?

Posted on 12/29/2008 by RLW3

Does everything have to turn into an event?

I left the apartment at 5:20 this morning to take my oldest daughter to the airport. No, I am not publishing the same post twice. This is a different day and a different daughter.

Things were looking so much better than two mornings ago. The roads were dry, the winds were normal, visibility was great and there was no traffic. I was just about to reassure my daughter that we would be there in plenty of time when she decided to call American and confirm her flight time AGAIN.

My wife and I were listening to her very professionally handle the automated operator, when she suddenly cried out “6:00?!?!?!?” 

She had told us that her flight departed at 6:50. Therefore, we were intending to arrive at KCI at 5:50. It turns out that her flight departed at 6:00 and arrived in Dallas/Ft. Worth at 7:50. She had transposed the numbers. I can’t believe she could do that! That must be her mother’s genes! (LOL)

I drove as fast as I could but she still missed her flight. And, she had to call her boss because she was the person scheduled to man the office today. Can you imagine how tempting it was to just lie and call in sick??? How would they know? To her credit, she told the truth.

She also did not make the next three flights as a ‘standby’ passenger. She ended up paying an additional $50 to fly out tonight at 6:50.

Posted in Children, Travel | Tagged , | Comments Off on It leaves when?

Encore

Posted on 12/27/2008 by RLW3

I had my alarm set for 4:45. However, I woke up at 4:40. 

In the midst of a 66° evening, the wind suddenly started howling like it did during tornado season, like God just reached over and turned on a switch. This lasted for about 10 minutes.

It worked out fine since I had to leave to take my second daughter to the airport in 30 minutes.

When I walked out of the apartment at 5:20, the temperature had dropped 33°!!! in forty minutes!!! That is even more dramatic than the last post!

And then it started raining…hard…which reduced the visibility to next to zero for much of the 45 minute drive to and from the airport. Between the hydroplaning, the gusting wind and not being able to see, I had quite a tiring trip to the airport!

Posted in Travel, Weather | Tagged , | Comments Off on Encore